


And In Trust, We Can Love

by LadyDanielle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, M/M, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 02:24:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4811363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDanielle/pseuds/LadyDanielle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin's magic is revealed to the king and knights, but Arthur reacts badly. Morgana takes advantage of Merlin's weakness, and Merlin makes a deal with her that he hopes will keep Arthur and Camelot safe. What if there were no lies and half truths? Perhaps the destiny of Emrys and the Once and Future King would be strong enough to bring peace to a troubled land.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And In Trust, We Can Love

**Author's Note:**

> I am so honored to be a part of the After Camlann Big Bang, thanks to the mods for keeping this going! I thought I would jump right in and let this be my first published fic. It has been such an amazing experience and I really hope you like it.
> 
> The title comes from a poem by E Laurence Bake, called 'Trust'.
> 
> Special thanks to my cheerleader, SPAG goddess and British beta, [thismaz](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thismaz/works). She took a big chunk of rock and helped me mould it into a coherent story. I could not have done this without her. Any remaining mistakes are totally my own.
> 
> Want to send a big hug to my artist, [ Narlth ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Narlth)  
> for bringing the scenes to life with her beautiful art.

 

 

Camelot's first knight entered the throne room. "Sire, the patrol has just returned."

"What is the word, Sir Leon?" Arthur asked.

"Another sighting of the witch in the outlying village of Panath, Sire."

"Was it her? Was it Morgana?"

"We're not sure, Sire. If it was, she was disguised as an old woman."

“It's like she is one step ahead of us. She eludes us, everytime,” Arthur said.

Leon drew closer and spoke softly, for Arthur's ears alone. "Yet, if we succeeded in capturing her, Sire?"

Arthur shook his head. "I don't know. For all the suffering she has caused us, she is still my sister." He sighed. "If there was even a chance..."

Sitting back in his chair, he closed that line of thought down by asking clearly, "What happened?"  
  
Leon stepped away and gave the rest of his report for the rest of the court to hear. "Three villagers were taken. Two women and a young boy. The village was apparently in uproar. They are frightened, Sire."

"Do we know why these particular people were taken?"

"Yes, Sire. It is magic." Who else would have the motivation for this? Morgana's powers were already stronger than any Arthur knew. If she had acquired more magic, different magic, well... it could make her invincible.

Behind him, he heard Merlin grumble something under his breath. He glanced over his shoulder and was surprised to see an expression like bewilderment on Merlin's face.

As of late, Merlin seemed different. Serious, troubled and closed off. Not the usual light-hearted, bumbling servant of the past ten years. Arthur tried to trace back to when it began.

Things shifted somewhat when Arthur became king, but Merlin was always nattering on about what a great King Arthur would be. He had stood beside Arthur through Agrevaine's treachery, Gwen's temporary banishment after the Lancelot incident, and Morgana's attempt to dethrone him.

Was it when he decided not to marry Gwen? Merlin had been the catalyst for their relationship, hadn't he? Always finding ways to push them together, arranging for them to meet secretly to solidify their feelings. Merlin had been sure that Gwen would be Arthur's queen. He had also assured Arthur of his destiny as Camelot's greatest king. And when Merlin made those statements, it oddly seemed to come from a place of knowing. As if there wasn't any doubt.

Arthur didn't know exactly when he had stopped discounting what Merlin said, but looking back, he realized he had been seeking Merlin's counsel for some time. And actually listening.

For all his faults, Merlin had become a valued asset to Arthur's court and life. His ability to perform his duties had also greatly improved, somewhere along the way, although Arthur never stopped reminding him of his inadequacies. He had to keep him on his toes after all. And it was just... what they did. Who they were. The banter, the harmless name calling, was their...way.

Merlin had managed to permeate Arthur's life, like rays of sunlight, slowly snaking their way into dark crevices and hidden places to spread light and warmth. There had never been anyone like Merlin, Arthur was sure of that. As frustrating and annoying as he could be, rarely adhering to protocol and clearly not caring that Arthur was the king when he spoke to him- Merlin challenged him. He made Arthur view life in new ways and consider ideas he never thought he would. And Arthur could truly be himself with his manservant. There was no one else with whom he felt he was enough.

The expectations placed on a king were enormous. Courtiers expected favor, knights expected leadership, commoners expected protection. Even Gwen had expected romance and for Arthur to strive to his full potential.

But, Merlin accepted Arthur as he was. Was eminently loyal to him even when, Arthur admitted, he was less than he should have been. And Arthur couldn't shake him off; no matter what, Merlin stayed.

Arthur liked it that way. He depended on Merlin to a degree he was afraid to really think about. He felt 'off' when Merlin wasn't there, as if he kept him grounded.

So, when Merlin began withdrawing a bit and throwing fewer insults Arthur's way; serving more and without complaint, he became curious.

When Merlin started disappearing, often with ridiculous excuses he must have known Arthur didn't believe, but failed to justify in the slightest, Arthur became suspicious.

Of course, Merlin denied it all, citing tiredness, overwork and being under-appreciated. But underneath, Arthur felt a sharpness, a bitterness that he had never seen from Merlin before.

It's was as if Merlin had hardened over the past few years.

Maybe, he thought, they all had, what with Morgana's constant onslaught of attacks, tending to serious council matters, and holding back the Saxons.

As king, he had so many affairs to be involved with, such as the care of Cenred's kingdom until he decided who should take control of it for him, embracing his own ideas and ways to rule, as well as, coming to terms with his true feelings for Gwen... they were not the optimistic young adults they once were.

Gwen had now been elevated to Lady Guinevere, with a small estate and a position on Arthur's council. He realized, after her return from exile, that their friendship was stronger than any romance they had shared. Gwen's heart had been won and lost to another and Arthur would not be second best to anyone. He accepted it without much discomfort and moved on.

It had been easier to allow her back into Camelot than he had imagined. He actually felt comfortable with her sensible knowledge of the people and her willingness to always be truthful, no matter how it ruffled council feathers. She was one of the few he trusted and he valued her views and her friendship.

Merlin had seemed pleased that Gwen was back and once Arthur made his feelings toward her clear, he never mentioned Gwen's role as queen again. Arthur felt sure that she was not the cause for his recent sullenness.

There seemed to be one person who did make Merlin prickly in a way Arthur couldn't understand- his newest and youngest recruited knight, Mordred.

Mordred saved Arthur from a certain death at the hands of Morgana. He had stolen bread to feed them during their trek as prisoners to Ismere. But all Merlin could do was glare and silently shake his head, face pale, when Arthur happily announced that he was knighting the young lad for his bravery and devotion.

Mordred had seemed rather in awe of Merlin at first, although Arthur couldn't imagine why. But after several occasions when Merlin was borderline impertinent, Mordred stopped making an effort to engage with him, unless he had to. It seemed that Merlin felt the same.

Maybe Merlin felt a bit displaced, since Arthur had been spending quite of bit of time personally training the boy. Arthur wasn't sure what had happened to arouse Merlin's suspicious nature. He usually had a way of sussing people out.

He had certainly caught on to Agrevaine's deceit, when Arthur had blindly misinterpreted, well... everything his uncle had been doing. He decided that he would have to keep an eye on Merlin where Mordred was concerned.

Behind him, Merlin grumbled something under his breath. He glanced over his left shoulder and was surprised to see what appeared to be bewilderment on his face.

"Merlin? What is it?"

Arthur's public acknowledgment of his servant in council seemed to awaken Merlin from his daze and snap him back into deference, at least, as much deference as Merlin could ever muster.

"Yes, your majesty?" He must have really be caught by surprise to use that honorific. "I mean... it's nothing. I am concerned for the villagers and everything that is happening."

"As am I." Arthur stood, causing Merlin to step forward, as if to follow. “I am very concerned about _everything_ that is happening.” He doubted anyone else would catch the silent message, that promised a longer discussion later.

He returned his attention to his knight. "Leon, ready five to six men and we'll ride out toward Panath. Maybe we will catch up to this... witch along the way."

"But, Sire..." Leon started, slightly bowing his head, making sure to show fealty even as he was disagreeing. Merlin snorted. "If we do find this witch, how can we capture her? Her magic must be very powerful. Our swords may be no weapon against this magic."

Out of the corner of his eye, Arthur saw Merlin glance around the room and stop when he found Mordred. Their gazes locked until the young knight looked away.

Arthur sat back down on his wooden throne and scowled, thinking about how they could combat magic with strength alone.

Percival stepped forward and said, "Sire, in my village, where magic was not banned, iron circlets and bracelets were used on those sorcerers who committed crimes. It seems to bind the magic so they cannot use it."

Ignoring yet another sigh from his left, Arthur turned to Gauis. "Gaius, don't we have some of those bracelets in the vaults? I remember seeing something, a long time ago."

Gaius slowly stepped forward and spoke. "Yes, sire. There may still be some down there from the Great Purge. They were used as Sir Percival said, to bind a person's magic and render them unable to use it."

"Good, you and Merlin go down and find them.” He turned to his servant. “Pack them in your bag, Merlin, and meet me in the courtyard in an hour."

As he stood to leave the room, he glanced back to see Merlin leaning heavily against his throne, his face pale. He shook his head and resolved to speak to Merlin later about his moods and inattention. Meanwhile, he needed to prepare for the witch hunt.

***********

Merlin and Gaius shuffled silently down the stone corridors until they were sure no one could overhear. "Gaius, " Merlin whispered, "is this true? Are these bracelets in the vaults?" Gaius's silence spoke louder than any reply.

They made their way through the halls and down the steep steps to the vaults below the citadel. As cold as it normally was in the main rooms, down in the cellars the dampness quickly seeped through Merlin's thin tunic and trousers. But the trembling he felt was not from the cold.

When they reached the storerooms, Gaius searched through trunks and cases for quite some time before finally opening a dark wooden box. Merlin immediately felt a prickle at the base of his neck. It traveled down his spine and through his body, like the blood through his veins. His magic seemed to be attracted to the contents of the box, but at the same time his stomach felt queasy. Instincts screamed "back up".

"What is it?" Gaius asked, placing a steadying hand on Merlin's forearm.

"I...It's odd. It seems to be pulling me forward and repelling me at the same time."

Gaius nodded, "Many a magic user was lured by the bracelets. They pull in the magic and bind it inside their runes."

Merlin inched cautiously forward, peeking at the thick iron manacles. Carved markings ran along the edges, in the script of the Old Religion. "What do they mean?" he asked, not taking his eyes off them.

"I don't know exactly, but beware, these are dangerous. Your own father barely escaped with his life when he was bound."

Merlin looked at him sharply at the mention of Balinor. Gaius so rarely spoke of him. He narrowed his eyes and asked, "Were these cuffs put on him? Is that how Uther made him capture Kilgarrah?”

"Yes," Gaius confirmed sighing, "Balinor was captured and brought to Uther."

Merlin studied Gaius, wide-eyed and wondering why he had never heard this part of the story before.

"Once Balinor was here, Uther removed the bracelets and said it was a misunderstanding. He claimed Balinor was an honored guest at the citadel," Gaius continued, shaking his head. "I believed him too. He seemed so sincere. Then he explained what he hoped Balinor would do for him in exchange for his "honored status". He said he also wanted to make peace with the great dragon. He said their rivalry had gone on too long and he wanted to make amends." Gaius was watching Merlin warily as he told the story. "When we realized his true intentions, it was too late. For the dragon, at least."

"How could he?" Merlin asked, anger pulsing through his body like an arrow with no target to hit.

"I helped plan his escape and smuggled him out of Camelot. To Ealdor."

Merlin could not understand how, after everything Uther had done over the years, Gaius had still stood by his side; still served him and kept his secrets. But there was no time to dissect the actions of his mentor or Arthur's predecessor. His king was waiting for him to bring these cuffs and ride out with the knights.

He tucked them in the box inside his knapsack. Still, he felt the odd tingle and pull from the bracelets.

"Be careful, Merlin." He looked up to see Gaius watching him gravely, eye brow raised to new heights. "We don't know how you will react to the close proximity of those. Your magic is far beyond anyone else's I have known, you may be extra sensitive."

“Guess I'll find out, since they'll be in my bag.”

Merlin ran back to his room to gather a few necessities before he headed to Arthur's chambers to pack supplies for his king. Once he had deftly packed Arthur's extra tunics, small clothes, and other supplies, he leaned against the wardrobe and closed his eyes. Everything seemed to be moving forward so fast lately. Since their return from Ismere, things had changed.

The prophecy given to him by the druid avartis had been slowly suffocating him. It was in his every thought, his every move. He was being consumed by it and turning into someone he hardly recognized. He now realized just how far he would go to protect Arthur. He would do anything to stop the prophecy and further Arthur's reign. Anything.

Yet, there stood Arthur's doom, right in his own kingdom as a knight! The thought gave Merlin the shivers. How shocked he had been when Mordred was there with their captors, yet had seemed to help them. He had actually stabbed Morgana to save Arthur's life. Merlin had run it over and over in his mind, had even asked Mordred straight out why he had done it. No matter what Mordred claimed, Merlin didn't trust him.

He should trust him, they should be allies, brothers in magic, but... too many times he had been warned of Mordred's part in Arthur's death. Merlin couldn't ignore the prophecy. He couldn't get close to Mordred and be taken in by his innocent youth. Not like Arthur had.

Merlin wished he could tell Arthur why he disliked Mordred and tell him of the prophecy, but Arthur wouldn't listen. He had tried to tell him what the druid seer had said, but Arthur had brushed it off as words of a deranged sorcerer. What would he think if Merlin explained about his death at a druid's hand?

As far as Merlin could see, events were still spiraling forward toward an inevitable end. No matter how he thwarted one outcome, something just as dreadful happened instead. Could he stop this prophecy and keep Arthur safe?

Merlin sighed and sat on the edge of Arthur's enormous bed. He thought about the past few years, with Arthur leading Camelot. The two of them had, somehow, become even closer. Perhaps when things didn't work out with Gwen, Arthur had needed some one else to spend his free time with.

Their friendship had deepened in the direction of their shared destiny. Though being honest, Merlin felt something much deeper than friendship. Those feelings had begun to bloom years before. He smiled thinking of the leggy colt he had once been, trailing after the prince, dragging his armor and sword.

He had tamped his affection down under his bumbling servant facade. And it had stayed there. He had supported Arthur and Gwen, helped them along, even. But he had felt a small wave of relief when Arthur decided to only make Gwen his advisor and not his queen.

Knowing Arthur could never reciprocate Merlin's desires was a double edged sword. But, there had been times when they had shared long looks, lingering touches and Merlin had wondered...

Hearing a horse whinny brought Merlin back to the present and the realization of where he was meant to be. Arthur would no doubt be waiting impatiently. He grabbed the supplies, eyed his satchel, heavy with the iron bracelets, and headed for the courtyard.  


Half a day's ride brought them to the village of Panath. They set up camp just outside the town, since there was no inn to accommodate their group and Arthur insisted on staying with his men instead of accepting one the villager's homes.

Merlin took care of the horses and unpacked supplies as the knights began questioning the villagers about the sorceress. During the ride to Panath, he had felt a bit woozy and wondered if it was the close proximity of the cold iron. He tossed the bag a bit further away, just be sure. As he stood up to tie back the entrance to Arthur's tent, he lost his balance and nearly stumbled.

"Hey, you haven't dipped into the cider already?" Gwaine chuckled, offering an arm to steady him.

Merlin chuckled. "No. Must have tripped on a rock." Gwaine turned and walked toward the fire. Noticing the cook pot, he lifted the lid and stuck his finger in. "Hey! Leave that be. It's still heating, you thief," Merlin said, smiling.

He returned to the fire and sat on the log they had dragged up to it, stirring the pot. While Arthur and most of the knights were in the village, Merlin had a few moments to wonder, yet again, if he should finally reveal himself to Arthur. Lately, Arthur had been so open and Merlin had felt so close to him, it seemed the bigger crime not to tell him.

Arthur had not followed in Uther's footsteps when it came to persecuting magic users. He did not seek them out. He had loosened his hold on the druids and let them be. It was more of a neutral stance. Not for, or against.

It had been Merlin's role to nurture the king's support for magic and in this he had failed, so far. Each opportunity to "show the good" of magic had ended with another crazy sorcerer, or attempt on Arthur's life that only made magic look unpredictable, at best.

But with Morgana still at large and Mordred at Arthur's side, Merlin's personal worries about telling Arthur were beginning to weaken.

What if not telling him was worse? Merlin's powers were so hindered by Arthur not knowing. His king always liked knowing all the facts, so he could make decisions that were wise and just.

"If you think any harder I might believe there's actually something inside that head of yours." The silky vibration of Arthur's voice called Merlin back to the present and he smiled. Arthur sat down beside him on the log and looked at him closely. Merlin wanted to put a shield around this man and never let it down. Never let anything harm him.

"Did you find out anything in town?" Merlin's words cracked and he cleared his throat. He stood up to put a bit of distance between them.

"Yes. A few villagers know of a cave about an hour away. They have seen a woman matching the description in the area."

"You think it is Morgana?"

"Don't you?" Arthur got up and went over to his tent. Merlin followed to assist dressing him in the remainder of his armor. He had worn only a red tunic into town. While Merlin carefully added the layer that could only protect against swords and arrows, he thought about the villagers.

Someone was taking magic users. Could Morgana be massing a magical army against the crown?

"Yes, I do think it is her. Which is why we must be careful. She is powerful and cunning." He tightened the last buckle.

"We? You're staying here, Merlin. Remember? Dangerous magic and all."

Merlin snorted and half chuckled. Their usual argument felt comfortable. Both knew perfectly well Merlin would never stay behind.

"We're riding out now then?" he inquired.

Arthur sighed. "Yes. WE are riding out now." He smiled and ruffled Merlin's hair in a playful way that caused Merlin to blush. He turned away so Arthur wouldn't notice.

"Don't forget the bag with the bracelets," Arthur reminded him. Merlin wondered how on earth they would ever get them on Morgana, even if they did catch her.

**********************

Arthur was worried about the villagers. He knew he had to protect his people, even if they had magic. Could they stop the witch with manacles? Arthur had been working on an idea to sneak upon her, but it was a weak plan at best. Morgana was a his enemy. He wished it wasn't so, but it was. His father's actions had turned her against Camelot and now Arthur. Her hatred bled through all her actions and made her unpredictable.

He was also worried about Merlin riding along. Although he wanted him close by, to protect him, he was a sometimes a distraction. Once, when they were surprised by bandits, Arthur had almost lost his head making sure Merlin was safe. Luckily, Merlin always seemed to come out of the skirmishes unscathed. Arthur didn't want to risk Merlin's life, but there was little he could do to keep him away from the action. He knew his knights looked out for Merlin, as well. He had become part of their circle, a band of brothers who defended each other, no questions asked.

Arthur smiled, thinking of how protective the knights were of Merlin and how they accepted him. Then frowned when he thought of Gwaine, who seemed to have extra possessive intentions toward Merlin. Like insisting Merlin sleep in his tent, when Gwaine knew Merlin needed to be close to Arthur in case he might need something.

They approached a small ridge and slowed. Arthur nodded to Percival and the tall knight dismounted to look for tracks.

"Merlin, you should stay here. According to the villager's, the cave should be just over that hill." Arthur indicated the rocky cliff. Merlin rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. The rest of the knights climbed down, handing Merlin their reins.

They had just begun their walk up the hill when the sky erupted with a shrill, inhumane scream. Five pairs of eyes looked upward at three dark beasts flying toward them.

"Wyverns!" Gwaine shouted. They were terrifying, speeding towards the group of men, claws spread and teeth barred.

"Spread out!" Arthur shouted and the knights fell into their practiced formation. As the beasts landed, he spared a quick glance around for Merlin's whereabouts and saw he was still near the horses, hopefully, out of immediate danger.

Even paired off, the knights struggled with the magical creatures. Sir Leon sliced into one of beasts and it screeched. The other two wyverns slashed back aggressively at the knights. Suddenly, Merlin was beside Arthur waving a sword.

"What are you doing?" Arthur yelled. Merlin was going to get himself killed.

"Helping!" Merlin shouted over the roaring of the beasts and clashing of swords and armor. There was a rumble from the top of the hill. Arthur looked up to see two additional wyverns balancing on the edge, looking down on them. As they spread their wings to descend, the larger one dislodged an immense boulder which skidded down the slope heading toward the knights below. There was no time to run. Arthur braced for the impact.

It never came.

He lifted his head to see the enormous slab of rock hovering a few feet from their heads. Arthur stared at Merlin's outstretched hand and amber eyes, but before he had time to make sense of it, the two wyverns shrieked, diving toward them from the top of the cliff.

Merlin shouted some guttural nonsense and instead of attacking, the beasts swooped up and stopped midair, attention fixed on Merlin who was still ranting in some odd language Arthur had never heard before. The beasts hissed at him. Then they turned and flew off, the remaining three following.

Arthur continued to stare at Merlin. His heart was pounding. What was this? But the proof of his manservant's crime was still hanging above them.

Merlin flicked his wrist and the boulder was cast aside like a pebble. It crashed into the ravine below, startling the knights out of their shocked state.

Merlin's wide eyes met his own. In them, Arthur saw the truth of what Merlin had been hiding.

Gwaine broke the silence. "What the hell, Merlin! Why didn't you do that the last time they attacked us?" He slapped Merlin on the back like he had just told a bawdy joke.

Arthur felt his world crashing down around him, yet he couldn't move or speak. He didn't want to move. His felt dizzy and his chest was tight, as if that boulder was crushing him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement. Sir Leon was retrieving something from a saddlebag and he seemed to be moving in slow motion. There was a loud snap, followed by a roaring that twisted around them like an angry wind. It ceased suddenly and Merlin cried out.

Arthur startled and focused on Merlin. The sorcerer Merlin. Leon had clamped the iron bracelets on Merlin wrists. Merlin stumbled to his knees and cried out again.

Gwaine pushed forward, "Leon, take those off him. It's Merlin!" Gwaine tried to pry the iron off which only seemed to cause Merlin more pain. Leon ignored Gwaine's attempts to free Merlin and looked to Arthur. "What shall we do with the prisoner, my lord?"

Arthur froze for a moment, then realized Leon meant Merlin. The prisoner. Sorcerer. "Let's take him back to camp," Arthur replied numbly.

Leon tied Merlin's hands and hauled him up onto his horse. Gwaine sidled up beside him and steadied him until he looked as if he wouldn't topple out of the saddle. Leon took hold of the reins and looked to his king for the signal to ride.

Arthur looked closely at Merlin. The sorcerer's head was down and his face looked pained. Arthur turned away, released a deep sigh and said, “Let's go.”

As they rode back to camp, Arthur wanted to jerk Merlin aside and demand answers. At the same time, he also didn't want to know. A wave of nausea hit his stomach at the thought of it all. Merlin had magic. Merlin had lied. He had Merlin prisoner.

How could Merlin have deceived him? How, after all they had been through? All the deceptions that had come before...Morgana, Agrevaine, Lancelot, Gwen. Arthur was afraid of the anger he felt. Never had he known so much rage.

When they rode into camp, Arthur dismounted and went straight to Leon, who would follow his instructions with no questions. “I want you to secure him somewhere out of the way. Do you understand?” he said. Leon nodded quickly. “I'll take a few men back into town and see if there is any word about the sorceress. We need to complete our mission regardless of what has happened. She is still out there and my duty is to protect the people,” Arthur said firmly, though he thought it may be for his own benefit less than Leon's.

                                                                                       ****************

Gwaine was making a scene, demanding Merlin be released. "He'll freeze that far from the fire!"

Merlin listened to Gwaine advocate for him, but his attention was focused on Arthur's dark tent. He could only guess what the King was thinking, and what his fate would be. Surely, Arthur would see that he had protected the knights from the wyvern's and the massive rock? Would he be able to see past Merlin's betrayal and recognize his loyalty? He would have to wait until morning to see what his future would hold.

Arthur didn't even glance his way when he returned from the village with Elyan and Percival. He overheard them talking while making supper. There was no news about the woman they were searching for and Merlin was worried that Morgana was near.

Gwaine tossed a large armful of branches onto the fire to stir up the flames so the heat would reach Merlin's tree. It helped. He walked over and sat down next to Merlin. “I don't know why the princess is being so dramatic. Who cares how you saved us-” He raised his voice. “Point is- You saved us. Saved us all.”

“Stop, Gwaine. It's no use making him even more mad.” Merlin sighed. “I should have told him. I knew I should have told him. I've had failed him. I allowed my fear of his reaction to outweigh my destiny.”

Merlin was meant to help bring magic back to the land, to break down the walls Uther had so tightly constructed in Arthur's mind since birth. But, he had been afraid. Arthur and he had become so close. He confided in and relied so much on Merlin for everything. Merlin couldn't bear to lose that.

Arthur had every right to hate him, exile him, execute him.

“I'd take those off you right now, if I knew how.” Gwaine nodded at the iron cuffs. “How do you feel?”

“Like my insides have been ripped out. Maybe, like a limb has been severed,” Merlin replied. He was tired, nauseous and the world seemed a hazy gray. At the end of each cuff was an attached chain that was wrapped around the tree he was leaning against. The restraint allowed him to sit on the ground, but there was little slack for much else.

Gwaine tucked Merlin in close beside him, backs resting against the tree.“So, magic huh? I knew there was something special about you,” Gwaine whispered. “He'll come around. Cares too much not to. Try to get some sleep.”

Merlin could only hope Gwaine was right.

 

He was stiff and cold and why was this bedroll so hard on his backside? Merlin had spent many cold nights sharing Arthur's tent and had never woke feeling like this. He shifted and heard a clanking. Shaking his head to clear his vision, he looked around. He was not in a tent. He had bracelets on his wrists. The events of the previous day crashed over him.

From the other side of camp, Arthur called, “Merlin?” Merlin's head snapped toward the sound of his king calling. Had Arthur forgiven him? He stood up, anticipating whatever was coming next.

Arthur came stumbling out of his tent. "Merlin? Where the hell are you? Why aren't you in this tent-" He saw Merlin chained to the tree and his face went white with realization. The expression of rage and hurt that flashed across Arthur's face was enough to cause Merlin to sink lower into his regret and anguish. He sagged against the tree.

The waves of Arthur's black anger accosted his weakened senses. Even with his magic suppressed, he could feel the bond he and Arthur had shared tearing. His soul was being ripped apart. His life force was splitting away from his being, like bark stripped from a tree. The pain of separation from this man was almost unbearable.

In what seemed like a highly accelerated move, Arthur was upon Merlin in seconds, sword at his throat, hissing in his ear. "Why did you do this to me?" His eyes were wild, face red and neck bulging with his raging pulse. Merlin wanted to explain, wanted to tell him everything, but nothing came out of his mouth. His eyes filled, as he felt Arthur's pain and fury burning into him.

"You will be prosecuted according to the laws of Camelot, sorcerer," Arthur gritted out just inches from Merlin's face.

Merlin gasped, Arthur's words severing the final hope he had been clinging to. That which was holding him together. He slid down the tree and sobbed out Arthur's name.

"Do not EVER call me that again." Arthur grabbed Merlin's face and looked him in the eye. In all the years Merlin had been with Arthur he thought he had witnessed every emotion his king was capable of. He's seen Arthur's anguish when Morgana had fallen down the steps and was dying. His sadness when his father passed on. His regret when he had slain the unicorn and brought famine to his people.

He had experienced Arthur's anger when his own defiance caused him to spend afternoons in the stocks. But never once, on any of those occasions, had Merlin feared Arthur. Not even when Arthur threatened to banish him after he accused Agrevaine of not so honorable actions.

The closest he had ever seen Arthur to truly losing his temper was when he found Gwen kissing Lancelot in the throne room. It had taken Merlin three hours to get him calmed down enough to speak without shouting.

He knew Arthur would never hurt one of his people, his knights, his brothers, but Merlin no longer fit in any of those categories. He was the enemy and Arthur's warrior instincts had kicked in. Protect the knights. Protect Camelot. Protect himself. In that moment, he had no idea what Arthur was capable of.

The knights must have felt it too because they shifted uneasily. Whether it was to distract Arthur for a moment or to bring him back to some rational state, it seemed to help. Gwaine moved closer to Arthur's side and said, "Sire?"

"Back off, Gwaine," Arthur threatened, never taking his eyes or hands from Merlin's face. His gaze bored into Merlin's soul, as if trying to erase Merlin's existence.

Merlin was too weak from the iron bracelets to do anything, even if he had wanted to. The ache of Arthur's rejection made him feel lifeless. His energy felt closed off, constricting him to half breaths. The scene before him was foggy, as if he was floating and seeing it happen from a distance. And then he was plunging down, and the dark was a comfort.

                                                                                   ********************

"Merlin!" Gwaine shouted, as the sorcerers body slumped. Arthur was still holding onto the front of Merlin's tunic. His fingers twisted into the material, as if glued there. As much as he detested him in that moment, letting go of Merlin felt like losing something vital. He shook his head and the feeling slipped away, like a faint scent in the breeze. He released the ragged brown tunic and stalked into his tent in silence, leaving an unconscious Merlin at the base of the tree.

He paced in his tent, trying to regain a hold on his temper. He couldn't remember the last time he had reacted so violently. He tried to breathe slowly. How long had Merlin been practicing magic? His mind raced through Merlin's years of service searching for something--anything-- that had changed, or would give some indication. He could think of nothing.

Could Merlin be planning to harm Camelot? Maybe align with Morgana? Even as Arthur had the thought, it felt- wrong. He knew of several times Merlin had saved his life. Why? Weren't sorcerer's evil and against Camelot?

 

                                                                                    *******************  
  
When Merlin awakened, his head was buzzing. Sitting up, his tried to focus his eyes and strained to hear what was happening around him.

"Just take it easy and lie back. They've all gone out to find the real magic threat,” he heard Percival's voice. He glanced up and was able to make out his large form standing a few feet from the tree Merlin was chained to.

"I said I would watch you," he stated. "The king wouldn't let Gwaine stay. Figured he'd let you go, or something." He sighed tiredly, as if there had been much more to the discussion that Merlin had missed.

"Yyyuu.."Merlin struggled, but no words would come out. He realized he'd had no water or food since the morning before. Percival brought him a water canteen and leaned over to help him drink. He tried to show his thanks with a small smile, but it was more of a twitch and he wasn't sure if Percival noticed.

"You aren't afraid of me?" he whispered, finally.

"No. I come from a place where we all knew some folk with magic. Used it to heal wounds or repair holes in the roof. Sometimes to try their hands at love. I don't see what all the fuss is... I mean, you protected us..." he trailed off, as if realizing he had said too much. "My loyalty is with the king," he added matter-of-factly. "But, I feel in this, he is not... seeing things clearly."

Merlin put is head in his hands, remembering Arthur's blue-black eyes throwing every ounce of hate he could muster directly into him.

How many times had he played this scene in his mind? How he would ultimately tell Arthur --or show him --all the good he could do, or had done for him and for Camelot. How his magic was meant only for his king and would never be used as a weapon against him. The scenarios had each played out differently and there was usually an angry Arthur. Merlin was not so naive that he thought he would immediately be forgiven for such a betrayal. But, this seemed far worse than all his imaginings. Maybe because this time it had actually happened. It was real.

The iron bracelets had started taking their toll. It was like being dunked under water, hoisted up again for a quick breath, then pushed under. His magic was being blocked and he couldn't even feel it through the bottom of his feet. Normally, the earth was thrumming under his soles, the power extending up through him. Up and through his crown, into the skies and heavens.

His thoughts were interrupted by Percival sitting down right beside him. "I don't think he really means to hurt you," he said, pityingly.

Merlin shrugged, unable to think about that or anything. He just wanted to disappear, fly away to somewhere where everything didn't hurt so much.

A few hours later, the sound of horses hoofs announced the knight's return. Merlin's stomach began churning, knowing he would face Arthur again. As the knights dismounted and headed to their tents, Elyan said, “We'll find her next time, Sire. She couldn't have gone far.”

Merlin shrank back against the tree in the hope that he would not be noticed, but it didn't work. Arthur stalked purposefully toward Merlin.

“Do you know where she is?” Arthur asked accusingly. It took a moment for Merlin's addled brain to catch up and when he realized who his king meant, he scowled.

“No. No, I don't. Why would I?”

“Hmm...let's see Merlin. Maybe because of the MAGIC!”

In the periphery of his attention, Merlin was aware of a horse approaching, but his eyes were focused on the man standing over him.

Arthur had just accused him of working with Morgana. Just because he had magic didn't mean he condoned what she had become. That the king would even think he was a traitor caused him to stand up and glare back. Had he failed to notice anything Merlin had done for him? “You think I would betray you? You think I have gone behind your back, what- plotting against you?”

“I don't know what to think,” Arthur said.

Merlin leaned as far forward as he could and said, “I am not an enemy of Camelot.” He was about to list all the reasons why that was so, when he saw a white horse enter the camp carrying a woman dressed in black. Morgana.

“Well, well, well. This day is turning out better than expected.” She smiled in a sneering way and dismounted. “Camelots finest and King Arthur.”

Merlin watched her every move as she walked closer to Arthur. The knights also seemed shocked to see her, they held their swords in defense but said nothing. How could this be happening? Without his magic, he was helpless to protect the king.

“What's going on here? I felt magic.” She scanned the camp, as if a magic user would appear. Merlin hid around the side of the tree. Arthur took a few steps toward her.

Morgana eyed the chains and walked toward the tree. “I had gathered quite a few strong magicians to take you down, but here you are and I don't see anyone protecting you this time. Just your knights, who are no match for me.” She glanced at chains hanging from the tree and then back at Arthur. “What are you hiding here, brother?”

Walking over to the tree, she came face to face with Merlin. He stood tall and glared back at her. “Hello, Morgana.” His voice was strong and it surprised him, especially in his weakened state. She looked confused and disappointed at first, until she noticed the iron cuffs around his wrists.

“You.” She stared and he saw the pieces fall into place. “Emrys. I can't believe it. All this time.” She looked around the camp and was silent for a moment.  
“No wonder all my plans have been thwarted.”

Merlin followed her with his eyes, trying to anticipate an attack. Arthur watched confused, eyeing them back and forth.

She turned to Arthur. “You finally discovered who was protecting you and this is what you do? Like father like son,” she scoffed at Arthur, who turned paler.

Her attention turned back to Merlin. “I can't believe it was you. You were the one who stopped me. A servant, who was right here all along,” she said incredulously. “You who dismantled the undead army, didn't you? Uther believed it was me.” She laughed wryly, but then her face went hard. “You killed my sister.” Her eyes were hard and black. “Well, tit for tat.”

Morgana took a few steps toward Arthur and said, “I thought this would be...more challenging, Arthur. Finally, you will get what you deserve.” Her eyes were haunted and far away and Merlin thought she looked sad.

“I've never done anything to you, Morgana.” Arthur sounded cold.

During this conversation, the knights were creeping up behind Morgana. Merlin knew they wouldn't be able to stop her, but at least they were making an attempt. Maybe a distraction would help.

Morgana's eyes flashed gold and the men were forcefully thrown into the air, landing on their backs. Arthur winced and held up his hand, as if to stop her. “Wait, it's me you want. Let the knights be,” he said.

Morgana smiled, her eyes flashing gold again and Arthur clutched his throat, making choking noises. His face turned red and his expression showed panic. Merlin had never felt so defenseless. He had to do something. What could he do without his magic? He could bluff. “Stop! I will not allow this,” he said.

“You will not allow this?” Morgana scoffed. “What can you do? Your powers are bound.” She nodded to the bracelets. “You can do nothing.”

“Release him or you'll find out.”

Merlin knew his power was great, though he wasn't sure if it was great enough to break through the shackles. What he did know was, he was Emrys. That title alone, held power, especially to a High Priestess. “You think these bracelets can restrain the power of Emrys?”

Morgana's hard expression wavered and she looked a bit alarmed. She nodded toward Arthur and he was released from the choking spell. He staggered backward, almost colliding with Leon who had just recovered from the magic blast.

Merlin waited until he was sure Arthur was breathing again. “Never harm Arthur. Or Camelot,” he said strongly, “and I will go with you willingly.” Without his full magic, he had no chance to defeat Morgana. This offer was the best he could come up with.

She looked skeptical. “And why would I trust you? You tried to kill me," she paused and looked around the camp. "What do I need you for? I can kill Arthur right now, take Camelot and return the Old Religion to the kingdom.”

“With the power of Emrys, why would you need Camelot?” Merlin tempted. He gave her a moment to consider what he was offering. He could see her mind working through what having the most powerful sorcerer beside her would mean.

Arthur was hearing everything they said and Merlin wanted explain, but there was no time. If this was the last time he saw Arthur, he wanted to make sure Camelot's greatest enemy would no longer be a threat. Maybe Arthur would understand this sacrifice one day and forgive him.

He took a chance and closed his eyes. He reached deep down into the earth, searching for any trickle of magic he could find. It was as if there was a door blocking his access, yet a bit of it seeped underneath, through the crack. He pulled, gathering a thin curl of elemental magic. He extended his arm and sent it out through the ground. The terrain around the camp rumbled, causing the knights to startle and look around. It got Morgana's attention.

“Alright. Yes. I accept your offer.” She looked at her brother and laughed. “You fool. You've had all this power, all this loyalty and you threw it away. He doesn't deserve you, Merlin. I'll make sure your power gets used properly now.”

She turned toward the tree, her eyes aglow as the chains fell off, releasing him.

A force pulled him forward toward her, but he resisted, slowing his pace. He paused beside Arthur, though the king was still watching Morgana. “I'm sorry,” he whispered and he knew Arthur heard him by the clench of his jaw and frowning brow.

Clumsily, he climbed up behind Morgana on her white horse and they rode off.

 

                                                                                                *****************************

Arthur watched them go like he was in a dream. Observing, yet not fully there. For the first time in ages, he was unsure what his next action should be. He should be relieved his sister was no longer a threat to Camelot. At least that is what she had promised. In exchange for Merlin- Emrys.

And now, he didn't have to decide what to do with Merlin. He pushed that thought away. The law was clear, of course, sorcery was outlawed. Yet, he couldn't imagine actually sentencing Merlin to a sorcerer's death.

The knights were still standing, dazed, with their swords raised, looking in the direction in which Morgana had ridden away with Merlin. The uncomfortable silence was finally broken by Gwaine who sheathed his sword and stalked over to Arthur.

“What the hell are you doing? You gonna let that crazy witch just ride off with Merlin?” Gwaine got very close to Arthur's face. He could feel the anger coming off his knight in waves. Any other time Arthur would have recognized this for what it was. He knew Gwaine was close to Merlin- not that that gave him any comfort- and he knew Gwaine didn't always play by the rules. But Arthur couldn't take one more push and unfortunately for Gwaine, this was it.

Arthur swung his arm back and hit him in the jaw knocking him back, bloodied.

Percival grabbed Gwaine to stop any mad retaliation and dragged him back to the other side of the camp. He grabbed a cloth from his bag and pressed it to Gwaine's wounded face to stop the bleeding.

Arthur turned away, grinding his teeth at his loss of control. No one said anything for a few moments and the air was heavy with unease. Arthur's head was pounding, probably from his earlier choking, or maybe from the weight of what had transpired.

Leon turned to him and asked tentatively, “Sire, should we pack up... to return to Camelot?”

“Yes.”

                                                                                       ********************************

 

Morgana and Merlin traveled north through the woods. It felt odd to ride behind her, to be so close to her. This woman who had become his enemy. They traveled for at least an hour, though Merlin was weak from summoning the magic and so, it was possible his perception of time wasn't that accurate.

“We're almost there,” she said and he saw a stone castle half hidden by immense trees on the other side of the ridge. He wondered what she was planning for him.

It didn't really matter now. He was supposed to be bringing magic back to the land with Arthur by his side, yet he felt as far away from that as could be. He wasn't afraid to accept whatever punishment Morgana could conjure. He knew he was stronger than she, but with the bracelets, he was so limited.Perhaps Morgana had Aithusa there in the castle and his dragonlord abilities would serve him.

As they entered the courtyard, Merlin felt the wards that were keeping the castle hidden from those with no magic. The castle walls were darker stone than those in Camelot. There was a slightly sulfuric odor to the air and a tangible energy. Magic.

“Welcome back, Your Highness,” said a rather rough looking, stout man with a shaggy beard and dark clothing. Morgana dismounted and grabbed the horses reins. “Get him down,” she said.

The man grabbed Merlin roughly and dragged him off the horse. “Had some luck today?” he asked.

Morgana turned her head and smiled wickedly, nodding at Merlin, who was struggling to stand upright behind her. “I have the only sorcerer I will ever need.”

The man scowled at Merlin. He glanced at the iron bracelets and narrowed his eyes. “Do you want him with the others?” he asked.

“No. Put him in the east wing quarters,” Morgana replied and walked inside.

“East wing? Who are you then?” the man mumbled, taking hold of Merlin's arms and pulling him up the stairs, to the castle entrance.

Merlin soon found himself in a large but almost empty room. It had a wooden bed, larger than the one he usually slept in, a chair and washbasin and a window. At least it wasn't the dungeon, he thought, collapsing on the bed. He was exhausted and just wanted to lose himself in the safety of his dreams, where Arthur didn't hate him. And he wasn't Morgana's prisoner.

He woke after an undetermined time to see Morgana sitting in the chair beside him. He scrambled up quickly, remembering his situation and whereabouts.

“So, Emrys,” Morgana started, then trailed off, studying him like a piece of exotic cloth in the market she wasn't sure if she liked or despised.

Merlin maintained an emotionless expression and gazed back. Was this the Lady Morgana- the girl he had taken to druids for help, the one who had rode to Ealdor to fight for his village? No, this was Morgana, High Priestess. Morgause's sister. Not Arthur's.

“I've been going over and over this and still find it hard to believe that you are the great Emrys, Merlin. Arthur had no idea did he? What a fool.”

Arthur should have known, Merlin thought. It was my place to tell him; his right to know. We could have done so much more, if only he had known.

“What I truly can't understand is why you were so loyal to them in the first place? You, who were to lead magic users into freedom, turning against your own.”

Merlin watched her and chose to remain silent.

“Yes, I heard about the legend of Emrys while I was with the druids and again in my priestess training. 'He with all the power of the earth, sea and sky will deliver the magic of the Old Religion to its rightful place uniting Albion's people'. Some deliverer you are,” Morgana mocked.

“I am meant to stand beside the Once and Future King,” he said.

“Arthur? You were wasting your time. He's only taken Uther's place-”

“Arthur is not his father.” Merlin argued. He wondered now if that was actually true.

“Then why were you bound and chained to a tree?” she asked laughing.

Merlin clamped his mouth shut, for what could he say? He had hoped to explain his deceit to the king, but Morgana had whisked him away before Arthur had cooled off enough to listen.

Morgana was quiet for a moment, staring at the wall behind him, “You killed my sister,” she gritted out, “and, you poisoned me, Merlin.”

It was true. One of his biggest regrets was having to mix the hemlock into that waterskin and offer it to his friend. He had known no other way to break the spell over Camelot. To save King Uther and Arthur. To save Camelot from Morgause.

“I...I never wanted to hurt you, Morgana,” he said, though he knew it would never remove the stain of his actions. “I had no choice. Morgause left me no choice, if I was to save Camelot. I'm truly sorry for what I had to do.”

“I had no idea what was happening! I didn't know I was the one holding the spell. I only knew a friend had poisoned me. You shredded the last hope that Camelot was my true home. And for what? To save a king who would have had you burnt without a second thought.” She looked at him with disappointment and loathing.

“What was I supposed to do? Let Morgause take over Camelot? Kill Arthur? It is my destiny to protect him. I didn't know another way.”

“You could have let magic return! I would have taken the crown and embraced the old ways. We could have learned from Morgause together. You could have fulfilled your real destiny- to return magic to Albion. Instead you turned your back on us and...then killed my sister,” she trailed off quietly.

“We have both lost much at the other's hand,” Merlin said. “or did you forget all the times you tried to kill me? And succeeded to harm many of those dear to me.”

Morgana looked startled, as if she never had actually did consider this. Then she stood up angrily and walked out of the room.  
  


                                                                                      ***********************  
  


As the knights rode toward the castle, Arthur kept his thoughts on his horse, the woods and definitely not on the recent events that included Merlin. The sorcerer.

He left his horse in the stables and hurriedly walked up the steps, hoping to slip away to his room, alone. He noticed Gauis in the doorway, no doubt searching for Merlin and waiting to hear if they caught the sorceress. His plans changed instantly. He would face Gaius now.

“Gaius, I need to speak to you at once.”

Gauis looked surprised and Arthur saw him glance round again. “Sire, where is Merlin?”

Arthur sighed and motioned for him to follow. They walked silently through the halls until they reached Arthur's chambers. He offered Gaius a chair, in which he sat looking quite worried and was that fear in his eyes?

“There has been a... development,” Arthur started then stopped. Did Gaius know about Merlin's magic? He eyed the physician, gaging his involvement in this deception.

“I know about Merlin. His magic.” By Gauis's gasp, he was sure he knew. More lies. Arthur had had enough of being fooled by those around him.

“After we discovered this... Sir Leon placed the iron bracelets on his wrists to contain him.”

Gaius winced and shook his head slowly. “Sire-” Arthur held up his hand to stop him telling any more lies. “Where is Merlin now, my lord?” the old man asked, his hand shaking.

“Morgana attacked us in the woods. We could not fight against her,” Arthur paused. He replayed the scene again in his mind. “Merlin... he offered himself if Morgana agreed to leave Camelot in peace.”

Gaius was so pale Arthur thought he might faint. He reached over to steady him, as he swayed. “But, Arthur, surely you can't let Morgana get her hands on Merlin, his magic,” Gauis said quietly. It was rare Gaius used his given name. He usually followed the court etiquette.

Gaius had experience and information that was considered delicate, considering Camelot's laws. Yet, it had proven very helpful, over the years, to fight this creature or that sorcerer. He had never considered it treasonous. Before.

“Tell me, when did you start teaching Merlin to practice magic?” Arthur asked, but it was more of a command.

“He...I didn't...” Gaius stuttered and Arthur felt his anger rise again. He tried to tamp it down but failed.

“Gaius, I will not be lied to anymore. I want answers to my questions. Real. Honest. Answers. No more half-truths,” Arthur said clearly so he would not be misunderstood.

Gaius sighed and slumped in his chair. Arthur waited, determined to get what he demanded. “I will answer your questions, sire. Yet, I can't help but wonder why you are asking me instead of Merlin?”

Arthur rubbed his hands over his face and wished he had some wine. “There wasn't time,” he said and then, “Gaius, please. I need to know.”  
  


                                                                                       ********************************  
  


Merlin was left alone for the rest of the day, and for that he was glad. He sat on the one chair and tried to think. Whatever Morgana was planning, he was too tired to figure it out. The bracelets that had trapped his magic were causing him to feel weak and dizzy. Or maybe that was just because of the nightmare day he had. Yes, it had all gone so wrong. He was here with Morgana. And Arthur was back in Camelot, without him. Despising his very existence. Thinking him a traitorous liar. He was a liar. But never a traitor. How could Arthur think he would ever harm him?

He replayed all the moments where he could have spilled his secret over the years. There had definitely been opportunities. But, wouldn't Arthur have reacted the same as he had now? Arthur was older, wiser and more patient than when Merlin had first met him. Telling him before he became king was never an option. Then after Uther died he was hardened against magic even more. There was always something happening that caused Merlin to delay.

In hindsight, Merlin could see how unfair he had been to Arthur. He hadn't trusted him. He had been more afraid of losing the closeness they shared then being honest.

There were sounds at his door and then it opened to reveal a young woman. She scurried into the room with a tray of food, carefully not looking at Merlin. When she placed the tray on the edge of the bed, she paused and frowned. Then she raised her head and gazed at Merlin. “Here is your supper,” she whispered.

He wondered why she seemed so nervous. He noticed the druid symbol inked on her forearm. She must be one of the magic users Morgana had trapped here. “You're a druid?” he asked, watching her face for reaction.

She blushed and said, “Yes...I mean yes, milord,” as she meekly bowed.

“You know who I am then?”

“Yes. Are you here to help free magic, Emrys?” she asked hopefully. He was surprised by her question. But after studying her, he could understand why she would think that. The great Emrys in the legends was a force not to be crossed, his intentions pure and his path foretold.

He didn't think pointing out his iron bracelets and current state of captivity would be helpful so he just shook his head and said, “I'll do everything I can.” She smiled and left him to his supper and another weight on his shoulders.

                                                                                        ************************************  
  


Arthur listened silently as Gaius spilled the truths of Merlin's arrival in Camelot. He was told of Merlin's warlock abilities, how the boy was sent to Gaius for guidance and control, and how saving Arthur's life from the old witch had set certain events in motion.

“There is a prophecy of a great Warlock joining forces with the Golden Once and Future King, “Gaius said, as if reciting from a text. “They do great things, your Majesty.”

Arthur frowned skeptically. He was not in the mood to listen to fairy tales or legends. He wanted facts.

“So, Merlin has been using magic since he came to Camelot... ten years ago, to keep me safe, according to you and these legends, to help me to the throne and to create some new world called Albion.” He watched Gaius shift in his chair with nervousness. The old physician nodded.

“And no one thought to let me know any of this,” Arthur continued, the hurt of Merlin's lies slipping into his words.

“That was my fault, sire. I'm afraid I made Merlin promise not to reveal his gifts to anyone. You know your father was relentless in his persecution of magic users.”

Yes, his father would have no mercy. Not even for a daughter.

“I have been king these fours years, Gauis. I had a right to know.”

Gaius seemed unable to tell him the long version of what he knew was years of lies and gods knew what else. Most of his questions were met with two word answers and “you'll need to ask Merlin”. It felt like prying open a swollen cider barrel.

“Tell me something, Gaius. How much has he interfered over the years? Have any of my accomplishments actually been mine?” Arthur's mind whirred through situations where he now knew Merlin's magic had been used. Battles with bandits, undead armies, and quests. He frowned in frustration.

“Sire, Merlin has done everything with the best intentions for you,” Gaius said, “And Camelot.”

“I don't need good intentions. I need honestly, trust and loyalty.”

“Merlin is totally loyal, sire-”

“Totally loyal? By lying to me? By manipulating my life!” Arthur was standing now and his anger was percolating right under the surface of his skin. He knew this conversation was over. Gaius was still protecting Merlin, even when he wasn't there.  
  


                                                                                 *********************************  
  


Merlin was awoken the following morning by a different servant. “The Lady Morgana will come to see you,” the man announced after laying his breakfast on the edge of the bed.

He looked at the fruit and cheese on the tray and wondered why he was treated to this instead of stale bread. He wanted to eat, but his appetite, like his magic, had been missing these past days.

It was frustrating to not feel it as he flexed his fingers. Why was he waiting around to see what Morgana was up to? He could call the dragon and be out of here. But, where would he go? Arthur would surely not want him near Camelot and perhaps he had a chance to find out what was going on in this castle. Maybe he could do something he was supposed to do. And he had agreed to come with her to keep Arthur and Camelot safe.

The door opened and Morgana walked in wearing a lacy black gown and robe that was fitting of a high priestess. Her pale face was still as beautiful as it had been years ago, when she was the kings ward, yet there was a sharpness now. Her green eyes that used to sparkle, seemed weary.

“I've been trying to figure out what to do with you,” she said bluntly.

Merlin stared, keeping his emotions in check. He didn't feel the fear he supposed he should feel. Maybe it was due to the fact he had not been thrown in the dungeon to rot away. And he had been fed well and made relatively comfortable, as a prisoner.

“If you were just Merlin with magic, you'd be dead,” Morgana said. “But, I was taught to honor the coming of Emrys.” She sighed and looked at him like she couldn't believe he was this legend. “Once, I thought I would practice alongside him. Until I learned he would be my doom.” Merlin saw her walls go back up and anger flash in her eyes.

“It doesn't have to be that way, Morgana,” he said. He remembered the promise of the Cailleach on Samhaim, years before, when Morgana tore the veil between the world of the living and that of the dead.

“I've been searching for you so long. I knew killing Emrys was the key to Arthur's downfall, for he is nothing without you,” she said.

“You couldn't be more wrong, Morgana. Arthur is a great and noble king.”

“He is continuing Uther's ways.”

“No.” Merlin shook his head “He is nothing like Uther.”

Morgana snorted. “He always followed Uther's rules, never stood up to him-”

“Maybe when he was alive that was true. Arthur has too much honor to defy his king, even if he did not agree with the way Uther ruled. But, he has made many changes since he was crowned. You cannot know all he has done.” He saw Morgana's interest flickered, so he continued.

“Surely you have heard of his common knights? Men judged by their abilities and not their noble status? His council is made up of people from all walks of life- noble, knight and commoner. Even Gwen, now, Lady Guinevere. Arthur has treated with other kingdoms to create stability and peace; lands Uther never could reach out to because of his harsh ways. And the druids...” Merlin hoped this was his biggest leverage. “He met with them and agreed to leave them in peace, even going so far as to atone for some of wrongs that were done to them. No one knows this, but he sends food and wine anonymously for their festivals.”

Morgana was silent as if thinking over what Merlin had revealed. “Yes, well... magic is still outlawed. It is still illegal to be me. You too, it seems.”  
  


                                                                                       *********************************

Arthur resumed his duties and tried to act as if everything was back to normal. He figured it would take a few days to shake the shadow of Merlin. He certainly could find a much better servant to tend him. Yet, after five days he felt himself sliding into one of those nasty moods he hadn't suffered in awhile. Usually, Merlin would coax him out of it with an amazingly horrid story, or suggest a ride to hunt. For the first time in years, he felt quite alone.

He knew Guinevere had been wanting to speak to him, no doubt about Merlin, and he decided her company might help. He summoned her to his chambers and asked for wine and cheese from a nearby servant.

“Sire, so good to have you back safely-”

He cut her off with an amused look and said, “Gwen, this is not the council room. Please let us talk here as friends.”

She smiled. That radiant smile that could have been greeting him each morning upon waking, had he wanted it. But, he had never truly wanted it.

“Arthur, please tell me what happened with Merlin. Gaius has been beside himself these past days.”

“Surely you heard what happened. Merlin has been lying to me all the time. He's a sorcerer! He betrayed me.” What more was there to say?

He watched her lean forward, hands folded neatly in her lap. “Arthur, I was told he saved your lives. You and the knights. But you had him arrested and bound in those bracelets?” He felt suspiciously like he was the one on trial here.

“I know you are hurt,” she continued.

Arthur refused to be scolded like a child. “No. He did this. He practiced magic and broke the law. Many times.”

She shook her head gently and said, “No matter the reasons for his actions and his lies, Merlin would never betray you, nor do anything to intentionally harm you. He cares too much.”

Arthur knew somewhere deep down this was true. But the web of lies and manipulating was creating a tangled mess he couldn't see through right now.

“Morgana has him?” Gwen had a fearful look in her eye. Morgana. Arthur had been trying to avoid thinking about that part of the story.

“Yes, she said she would no longer threaten Camelot. We will have peace at last,” He said flatly and it didn't feel like a victory.

“As an exchange for Merlin,” Guinevere stated. “Arthur you can't leave him with her!”

“What am I to do? Rescue him to bring him back here to stand trial for sorcery? He's better off where he is. With his own kind.” That tasted bitter on Arthur's tongue as he said it.

                                                                                **********************************

“Now Arthur knows about my magic, I'll help him understand there is nothing to fear.” Merlin said. They had been talking for hours and the sun was long set. Morgana was still skeptical, but he believed he was getting through. She hadn't left, yet. He knew she couldn't believe Arthur would change and him binding Merlin with the iron hadn't helped. “He was just mad because I didn't tell him. You know his temper.”

“His temper could get you killed Merlin.”

“That's the chance I'll take,” he said firmly. He believed in Arthur and in their destiny.

“Why do I care what Arthur does now? I have you.” She smiled.

“Because, Morgana, magic should be free across all of Albion. Including Camelot. I know that's what you want. It's what I want as well. What if we could change things? What if we could work together to return magic?” He knew, suddenly, what he had to do.

Morgana looked doubtful. “There is nothing that can repair what has been torn apart.”

“But, why?” he asked. “We have both hurt others for the cause we felt was right. What if we join together with Arthur and create a new land. The world the legends speak of- Albion. This is my destiny Morgana; mine and Arthur's. I don't want to be your doom. I want to seek your council on the Old Religion. I want you to be accepted as a High Priestess and I want to be known for who I am as well.”

“Arthur would never agree to this,” Morgana snapped, but Merlin could see she was interested in the ideas he posed.

“I believe he would. He would also be extremely grateful to get his sister back. I have an idea. A truce,” Merlin said. “The three of us meet to discuss the future of Albion and how we can work together in peace.”

 

                                                                  *********************************************

 

Arthur sat staring out of the window that looked over the lower town. It was late evening, so the view was dotted with glowing warmth from the windows of the cottages. The talk with Guinevere hadn't done anything to improve his mood. He was actually feeling worse. She had looked at him with disappointment for leaving Merlin with Morgana. What could he have done? Her magic was powerful and Merlin was not able to use his magic due to the bracelets and when had he started thinking it was alright for Merlin to use his magic?

He heard a soft knock at his door. Something Merlin never did. “Enter.”

He was surprised to see Mordred step into his chambers.

“Sire, I hope I'm not disturbing you.” His youngest, newest knight bowed respectfully. Mordred though young, seemed wise beyond his years when Arthur spoke with him. Maybe it was from being raised with the druids. Arthur knew the Mordred was proud to be a knight of Camelot. He wore the cape as a badge of honor. He wished Merlin was more fond of him...oh.

“Not at all, please take a seat.” Arthur indicated the chair opposite him. In between them was a small table where Merlin and he would play chess some evenings. Arthur now suspected Merlin's “lucky games” weren't always luck.

“What's on your mind?” he asked, smiling tightly, though he was mentally exhausted from well, everything.

“It's about Merlin, your majesty.”

“Speak freely.” He wanted Mordred to feel he could say whatever he needed to say. And Arthur was intrigued, as he knew Merlin was not fond of the boy.

“I don't know Merlin that well,” Mordred began cautiously “But, I am sure of one thing, sire. Merlin  
was more loyal to you than anyone else.”

“You did hear Merlin was caught using magic?” Arthur asked, though it seemed people didn't really care about that fact when it came to Merlin.

Mordred looked at him intently “Yes.” Then he continued, “As a druid myself, I was raised in a community where the legend of Emrys was known to us all.”

“The legend of Emrys?” Arthur kept hearing this name. “And Merlin is this Emrys?”

“Yes, Sire. Merlin is Emrys, the great one who is magic, who will stand beside the Once and Future King to unite Albion. Sire, in our village there were many with gifts to share for the benefit of all. Whether it be the gift of healing, the gift of farming to grow food, or elders who helped young ones chose their path in life- these gifts were given freely and without thought of something in return. I, too, shared in these gifts and was able to help others. I just thought you should know.”

Mordred rose and walked to the door waiting to be dismissed. Arthur nodded without thought and Mordred bowed, closing the door behind him. Arthur stared at the door and tried not to think about what the boy was actually trying to tell him.  
  


                                                                         *********************************************  
  


Merlin conjured a glowing blue orb in his hand. “The orb can travel to Camelot and I can speak with Arthur”, he explained to Morgana. She had agreed to remove one of the iron bracelets for a short time so he could contact Arthur about the Truce Meeting. He hoped enough magic was available to him to make it work.

After she removed the bracelet from his left wrist, he had felt a trickle of power dribbling back into to his veins. He took a deep breath and a small smile crept over his face. He couldn't help it. It felt so good to feel his magic again after so many days.

“I'll be right here so don't try anything. There will be no second chances, Merlin.”

He nodded in agreement. He knew he could overpower her, even with only part of his magic. But he hoped to gain much more by following through on his promise to go with her willingly in exchange for Arthur's life and her leaving Camelot alone. He could not break that oath.This idea for the truce would bring them all together again. He hoped with a better ending this time.

He let the blue ball of light fly out of the window and on its path toward Camelot. With his eyes closed, he could follow along and “see” through the orb, almost as if it was his eye.

Flying was much faster than riding a horse, he thought, watching the forest whip by under the light of the half moon. He had to admit he wasn't sure what he would say to Arthur when he got there.  
Arthur may not even speak to him; may see this as some magical threat or trick.

He had to try.

The orb slowed, as the turrets of the castle came into view and Merlin was relieved to see the window of Arthur's chambers partially open this summer night. The ball of light hovered and then darted inside.

Arthur was stretched across the bed in such a way that Merlin knew his king had been restless. The mornings Merlin would find him tangled in a heap of bedsheets, sweaty fringe framing his face, was always a tip-off that Arthur would be in a sour mood from not sleeping.

He hesitated, not wanting to ruin his chance to gaze at his king before the shouting began.

“Arthur?” Had it only been six days since had spoken to him? “I need to talk to you.”

Arthur moved lazily and Merlin heard a mumble that might have been, “-rlin... what you want?”

He recognized the second Arthur realized and remembered. His body stiffened and he fixated on the blue light illuminating his room. His hand reached for the sword he was not wearing in bed.

“Arthur, it's me, Merlin.” Merlin tried to reassure him, but the wild look in his eyes told him it wasn't working. “Please, I mean you no harm. I only want to talk.” Merlin spoke as if to an abandoned dog he was trying to pet.

“What is this? Did Morgana send you?” Arthur's body was coiled tight like a snake, ready to strike.

“This was my idea. Please, Arthur, just give me a chance to explain.”

“Seems you have a lot of explaining to do, Merlin.” Merlin saw the hurt in Arthur's eyes, as well as the suspicion of talking with a magical ball. Then something else flashed through those eyes. Recognition?  “Wait, I've seen that before,” Arthur said gazing at the ball, as if trying to remember something.

Recognition came. “The forest of Balor. That was you, wasn't it?” he asked.

“Um...”

“Those spiders had me trapped and I couldn't see a way to get out of the cave. I had found the morteous flower and had to get it back to Gaius quickly, to save you...” Arthur trailed off and Merlin felt the weight of his stare through the orb. “This light appeared and guided me out safely. I thought I had an angel looking over me.”

“Well, I guess it was only me,” Merlin said quietly.

“Yeah.” Arthur kept staring, but then sighed and asked, “Why are you here, Merlin?”

“I have an idea, a way to bring peace to Camelot and make peace with Morgana,” Merlin said, blurting it out quickly.

“I thought I had already accomplished that,” Arthur said smoothly.

Merlin blinked and the orb pulsed. Yes, Arthur was correct. Merlin had offered himself as the white flag between brother and sister. Morgana had agreed not to go near Camelot or Arthur.

“Yes. That's true but Art- your majesty, this is a way to regain your sister and bring peace to all your people,” Merlin said. He could hardly breathe, watching Arthur gaze at him through the orb. This was a big gamble, but he hoped his belief in Arthur was not misguided, that he would want to do this.

“My... magical people, you mean,” the king said.

“Peace with magic means a united land, Arthur.” Merlin slipped with his name, but the king didn't seem to notice.

“And, I am supposed to believe this is not some trap constructed by Morgana? Or you?”

“I never once betrayed you! I did everything to protect you and Camelot... Always keeping you safe. If you hate me fine, only please listen. This ongoing war with magic will never end until it's too late. I won't let you die. And there might be a chance to save Morgana.” Merlin's fear of the prophecy coming true bled into his words. As Emrys, he could do so much more. He was tired of not using his potential as he was meant to.

Arthur’s eyes narrowed as he considered Merlin's words.

“I'm not sure how to trust you Merlin, not now. I don't even know you. I thought... I don't know what to think.” Arthur slumped back onto his bed and dragged his hand through his hair, a sure sign of frustration.

“Please, Arthur,” Merlin whispered. “Do this for Camelot. For your people.”

“Do what, Merlin? What do you want me to do?”

“A meeting. Between the three of us,” Merlin said softly. “A truce.”

“Truce?” Arthur asked. “Morgana agreed to this?”

“She agreed to a meeting. A temporary peace to discuss options.”

“Why? Why would she agree to this? She is a high priestess and she now has Emrys,” he spat standing back up and walking toward the orb. “A very powerful sorcerer, it seems.”

Merlin felt the anger and pain coming from Arthur and the orb moved back slowly, as Arthur moved toward it.

“If you were really here I would...” Arthur didn't finish, but Merlin understood. The ache of losing Arthur would never subside.

“What Arthur?” Merlin whispered. “Execute me?”

Arthur looked shocked into the blue light of Merlins magic and asked, ''“How could you ask that?”

An uneasy silence followed in which Merlin hovered without speaking. Arthur finally looked right into the orb's eye and said, “I wouldn't hurt you, Merlin.”

Arthur had already hurt him. He had arrested him without a second thought or a chance to explain. Merlin's lying had been the highest betrayal to Arthur. He knew this and sensed the sting of Arthur's upset through the words he had spoken.

Merlin sighed and tried again to move forward with his plan. “Will you agree to the meeting?” he asked. He could see Arthur weighing his options and working out the benefits of a truce. He waited, hoping he had been persuasive enough. But, this was Arthur's decision. He had to choose which way his reign would go, now that Merlin wasn't there to advise him.

“I will agree to the meeting, but I must insist on bringing a few knights.”

Merlin cut him off. “No. She agreed only to the three of us. I will make sure we are all safe. This is no trick, Arthur. I think she is just tired… and weary. I will come get you at first light and ensure your safety.”

Arthur stared into the light for a moment longer, then agreed, “Alright. But, I will bring my sword.”

Merlin's orb swept round Arthur and out the window.

                                                                           *********************************

Arthur considered the last four years of warring with Morgana and what peace could mean for his kingdom and people. Her power was mighty and her hatred fierce. In the past, he had thought his cleverness, bravery and sword had held her back. Now he knew better. It had been his servant. An idiot who couldn't pour wine at a feast had held Camelot in his palm for years.

But, he realized, he trusted him enough to agree to this mad plan. Even with his knowledge of Merlin being a sorcerer, it was hard to imagine him with ill intent. It might be worth trying. And Morgana had always be true to her word once it was given. Maybe he could regain a sister and a manservant as well.

He decided to confide his actual plans in only two people. Since the hour was so late, he sent brief notes to Guinevere and Gaius, explaining he would be accompany Merlin to meet with Morgana in the morning, but commanding them to say nothing to anyone, unless they feared something had gone wrong. He expected to be gone for two or three days. Neither one could argue with a note. His note to Sir Leon detailed a few days hunting trip.

As he lay in bed waiting for dawn, he replayed the past week in his head. Had it only been six days since Merlin's magic had been revealed? It felt far longer. He had been resigned to moving on with his life, without his former servant. Yet, he couldn't deny the feeling of anticipation that was trying to take root at the thought of seeing Merlin again.

Sleep came easier than it had in almost a week.

He woke to the pulse of the blue Merlin light hovering above him. He scrambled out of bed. The faintest pre-dawn light was trickling through the window. Dressing quickly behind his screen, he grabbed his sword and bag, and nodded to the orb.

                                                                          ****************************************

Arthur crept out of the castle with Merlin low and at his side, in case anyone should pass by. Luckily, only the gate guards were up and about so early, so Arthur passed easily to the stables. Merlin felt an odd sense of loss, as he watched the king saddle his own horse and stuff his saddlebags. Regrets he could do nothing about now. He could only try his best to make sure this truce meeting was a success. And no one got killed.

Arthur ordered the gates be opened and rode out to his mock hunting trip.

He led Arthur through the woods at a clipping pace, as it would take most of the day to reach Morgana'a castle. He tried several times to make conversation with Arthur, but it fell flat. The king didn't want to talk, so Merlin let it be.

He could feel Morgana standing beside his body in his room. She was watching everything, her hand on his arm, allowing her to feel his intentions. She couldn't see or hear what he was saying, but if he had but if he had any thoughts about double-crossing her, she was in a prime position to exact vengeance on his vacant body before he could do anything about it.

It was late in the day when the castle came into view. Arthur stopped his horse at the top of a hill, glanced at the orb and said, “I hope you know what you are doing, Merlin.”

Merlin hoped so too.

He led Arthur across the courtyard, where Arthur's horse was taken by a groom, and up the stairs of the castle. The guards let them pass into the rather dark and somewhat dilapidated hallway. “In here”, one of the men grunted and motioned for Arthur to enter what looked like a small dining hall. Merlin started to follow, but he felt himself pulled back into his body with a jolt. He shook his head and looked at Morgana standing beside him.

“Remember, no tricks Emrys,” she said cooly. “Arthur is here now and you wouldn't want anything to happen to him.” She looked him in the eye and then released the second bracelet from his wrist. It fell away and landed on the floor. Merlin hoped that was the last time he would see it.

“We're all here for a purpose, Morgana and we've agreed to this truce. I gave my word, as you and Arthur have given yours,” Merlin reminded her.

“Then let's go start the party, shall we?” she said and turned to leave the room. Merlin followed her up the narrow stone hallway until they reached double doors at the end. With a tilt of her head, they crashed open.

Merlin saw Arthur jump up from his chair and unsheathe his sword, pointing it toward them as they entered.

“Arthur,” Morgana said. “Merlin said you would come. I wasn't so sure.”

“Yet, here I am.” Arthur said, sheathing his sword.

“Let's all sit down and have some refreshments,” Morgana said as several servants arrived with trays and goblets. She walked to the round table in the center of the room and chose a chair on the far side. As the fruit, cheese, bread, and wine were laid out upon it, Merlin sat down and then gazed at Arthur who looked a bit hesitant, but finally sat. The trio formed a triangle around the table, he noticed.

“Eat, please.” Morgana nodded towards the plates of food.

Arthur chose a piece of bread and cheese and was about to take a bite when he stopped.

“Don't worry. It's perfectly safe.” She ripped some cheese and began to chew. “I wouldn't agree to this meeting if I'd only wanted to poison you.” She turned to Merlin. “Emrys, please have something to eat.”

Merlin bit his lip and wished she would stop calling him that. He sighed and decided not to argue, as that would only cause more friction.

“So, what is this?” Arthur asked while they enjoyed Morgana's hospitality. He looked from Merlin to Morgana and back again.

“It was Merlin's idea,” Morgana replied, nibbling on some grapes.

Merlin decided he should say something to break the ice. “We all have much to lose by warring and I believe much more to gain by working together with a common goal. Each of us has a destiny, a duty and the power to make it happen. Let's see how we can bridge the distance between us for the benefit of all and for Camelot and its people.

Arthur's and Morgana's eyes were watching him intently. “I think we should set some rules to make this go smoother,” he continued. “Each of us should have a chance to state their intent, voice their concerns and ask questions. No magic. No violence. We are here to see if an arrangement can be agreed upon.”

“Wait.” Morgana held up her hand.

Arthur reached instinctively for his sword and Merlin raised his own hand.

“Easy,” Morgana said holding both her hands up.

When they calmed again, Arthur cleared his throat. “I definitely have questions.” He continued to stare at Merlin for a moment then looked away.

“Fine. But before we start, I want to....” Morgana trailed off and took a deep breath. “I would like to cast a truth spell.”

“A truth spell?” Arthur repeated.

“Yes. If this meeting has any chance of actually working we need to be able to trust each other. As it stands right now, none of us trust the others. A truth spell will force us to be honest in our words while we are at this table. Nothing more.”

Merlin thought about it for a moment and decided it was actually a very good idea. This way only true words could be spoken. No lies or half truths.

“I agree,” he said. “This is the only way any of us will know if the others mean what we say.”

Arthur looked skeptical. “How... I don't know.” He rubbed his temple.

Merlin could see his mind turning and twisting with the thought of magic being cast on him. “It's alright, sire,” he said. “I will make sure it is safe.” He turned to Morgana, “You will be casting the spell on this table right? Not on us.”

“Yes, only on the table. While we sit here, we must tell the truth.” Eventually, Arthur nodded and Morgana smiled. “Clasp hands,” she said, reaching out and taking hold of Merlin and Arthur's fingers. Arthur hesitated and very gingerly extended his palm to Merlin.

Merlin waited until Arthur looked into his eyes expectantly before he closed his fingers gently over his king's, closing the circle. Merlin's heart skipped a beat at the contact and closeness to Arthur after such an emotional week. He pushed these feelings away and concentrated on Morgana's spell.

Morgana whispered a few words and her eyes flashed gold. Merlin felt the magic swirl around the table in a wispy white light. It felt like pure truth, honesty and integrity settling over the table. They dropped the clasped hands and Arthur reached out with one finger to touch the crackling surface. The light dissipated and the spell was in place.

Morgana suggested taking turns asking and answering questions.

“Great. I'd like to ask you some questions first, Morgana,” Merlin said. He felt it would be good to clear the air between them a bit more and Arthur could also learn of events that had passed between them.

"Morgana. " Merlin spoke softly. "I want to apologize to you." Morgana looked taken aback and Arthur's expression wavered between confused and appalled. "I... had many opportunities to help you. To show you you were not alone, support you- but I did not. I knew you had magic and I did nothing."

Morgana tilted her head and Merlin continued, “I was scared. So afraid that someone would find out about my magic. I wanted to tell you. But Uther would have had me burned faster than Arthur can mess up his room.” He saw Morgana's expression soften a bit.

Morgana frowned thoughtfully and was silent for a while. When she finally spoke, she surprised him. “I understand why you didn't tell me, Merlin. I was afraid too. But I would have kept your secret. We could have helped each other.” Her reply surprised him.

"What I most regret," Merlin said looking down at the table, "is the poison." He felt the words trickling out of his mouth easily in response to the truth spell.

Arthur looked utterly lost. “Can someone tell me what you're talking about?”

Morgana eyed Merlin wearily. "You were my friend. How could you have done that?”

"I had no other choice," Merlin said firmly. He turned to Arthur to explain. “Remember when we found all of Camelot sleeping when we returned from Idirsholas? Morgana was the only one awake because she was holding the spell Morgause cast. The only way to break the it was to...” He trailed off and remembered Morgana's face when she realized he had put the poison into the waterskin. His eyes filled and he whispered, “Was to kill her.”

Arthur looked stunned, as if he never imagined Merlin could do such a thing. Merlin felt the weight of that decision as if it had just happened.

“I put the poison in the water and offered it to Morgana. When Morgause came running into the room, I traded the name of the poison for her lifting the spell. I hoped she would save you, Morgana.”

Morgana's face had gone blank and she stared blindly at a spot behind Merlin's shoulder for a long time. “She didn't tell me.” she said, “ I didn't know it was me holding the spell.”

Arthur reacted to only one part of Merlin's story. “But why were you talking to her in the first place, Morgana? She couldn't be trusted,” he asked.

Morgana shook her head and focused on him. "I felt so alone and scared. I didn't know what was happening to me in my dreams. When I discovered it truly was magic, I was even more terrified. Uther's ward with magic. He was a tyrant, with no regard for innocence, no tolerance. I knew he would kill me if he found out."

"Morgana, " Arthur started, "Father would have never-"

"What do you know? He threw me in the dungeon for disobedience and threatened me! " she snapped, "He wouldn't have hesitated to send me to the pyre."

Arthur sighed and ran his hands over his face.

“Morgause understood and she helped me. She explained what was happening and I didn't feel so alone. She stopped the nightmares.”

“She helped you? She turned you against Camelot,” Arthur said sharply.

“No, Uther did that long before I met Morgause. I watched so many die at his hand. Guilty or innocent, he didn't care. And guilty of what? Starting a fire, helping a loved one, or nothing at all. Just someone's word that magic was used. When Morgause explained, I realized I had to help those like me. I couldn't let his reign continue.”

Arthur was red-faced and he was breathing hard. “So, you thought you could just come in, take over Camelot and kill me too?”

Merlin stepped in to cool the tension. “Morgana, I think we can both see why your hatred of Uther caused you to want to rebel and -"

"Seek justice," Morgana finished for him. "I was tired of hearing stories of my kind being persecuted, murdered, hunted for no other reason than existing. Morgause offered me family, guidance and compassion. It was what I needed."

Merlin saw his chance to lead the conversation where it needed to go. "But where does Arthur fit into this?"

“Arthur isn't different. He always followed Uther's orders-”

Morgana was cut off by her brother. “I am not him. I have not ruled as he ruled and I have never done anything against you, Morgana. Only protected what was mine.”

"Ok..."Merlin held up his hands. "Let's calm down. Morgana continue. I want to know more about your feelings toward Arthur."

She took a breath, as if to control her anger. "I have watched him since he took the throne. I have seen him become a fair man, and in all honesty, a respected king."

Arthur appeared shocked by her words and she continued. "But, magic is still outlawed. It is still a crime to be ME."

"I have not hunted magic users. I have tolerated the Druids and their camps,” Arthur objected.

"Tolerated? " Morgana asked. "But these people are not free. They have felt no change since your rule began. They still live in fear and it is my place to deliver them into a better world."

Merlin looked away guiltily. "This is my fault," he said. "It was my destiny to help Arthur become the great king he was meant to be and unite all of Albion by bringing back the old ways. I have failed."

He felt Arthur's eyes on him and knew that this truth spell would bring out many things the king wasn't going to like.

“Yes, Emrys, it was your destiny. Why have you ignored it for so long?” Morgana asked.

“I don't know. Been busy protecting Arthur I guess,” Merlin said, but he could feel the truth spell pulling hard against his chest, as if trying to extracted much more.

Morgana turned to Arthur and said softly, "What if father hated and despised you? What if you were afraid of what your friends would think of you? What if you knew you could help people, heal or make life easier, but they wouldn't give you a chance to try out of fear?”

"What are you saying? That you could have been helping the people of Camelot instead of terrorizing them? You never gave me a chance to react to your magic before you were threatening me with it. I didn't know,” Arthur said looking Morgana in the eye and then looking at Merlin.

“What would you have said, Arthur? How would you have reacted, finding out you had a sister who was a witch?”

Merlin studied Arthur as the king flushed slightly. Tiny drops of perspiration beaded up on his forehead, but he looked regal even when he was unsure of what to say. “Well, first,” he began, “I would have been glad to know I had a sister.” Morgana's expression softened. “And as for the magic, I would never have let father harm you,” He glanced at Merlin and added, “Or you.”

“You would have accepted me with my magic?” Morgana asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It's hard to go back to the person I was then and forget all that has happened,” Arthur said. “But yes, I believe I would have supported and helped, if I could have. Though the magic I have seen these past years has been dark and used to harm me.”

Merlin looked into Arthur's eyes. "Magic is a tool,” he said. “It can be a gift or a weapon. As your sword can be wielded to help or harm. Magic only is. It cannot be good or bad. It is what is in the heart of the user that makes it so."

“That is not saying much for Morgana,” Arthur said.

"Yet, from her point of view she was helping her people. Protecting them," Merlin explained.

"You're defending her?"

"I can see her point. I have lived in fear since I was born. I was sent to Camelot to avoid being found out in Ealdor, before I could control my magic. My mother sent me to get help from..." He stopped, not wanting to implicate Gauis.

"Oh, please continue, you think I don't know Gauis has helped you?" Merlin's face must have displayed worry because he added, "I would never harm Gauis, Merlin.”

They talked for hours, until the candles burnt low. The discussion shifted into conversation as, by unspoken agreement, they moved away from contentious issues. Arthur spoke of Camelot, since Morgana left, about the arguments in court and the quarrels in the market place that he had to resolve. Merlin somehow ended up telling them about the trouble magic had almost got him into, as he was growing up, before he knew how to control it. In turn, Morgana told tales of traveling with a Druid band and, as she spoke, he saw flashes of the young woman he used to know. She had lived years of a lonely life, trying to fight for what she believed to be right, yet making more enemies than supporters.

At some point, Arthur asked, “Why do you feel Camelot is yours to rule?”

“At first, I only wanted magic to be free. For me and everyone like me. Then Morgause said since I was a Pendragon, it was my rightful place. I should rule and return magic to the land. After she died, I was lost. I only wanted to run away from Camelot, forget everything. But then Agrevaine found me. He said he would help me get revenge on Uther and take the crown. ”

Arthur flinched when he heard his uncle's name. Agrevaine's betrayal had been tough for him to accept. “And yet, it was that old sorcerer who killed my father...” Arthur trailed off and Merlin saw realization harden his face. He turned to Merlin, eyes black. “It was you!”

“N..no, Arthur,” Merlin stammered. “He was already dying from the knife wound. I tried to save him.”

“You had every reason to hate him and want him dead,” Arthur said flatly.

“What? I saved him. Many times. I would never have hurt him. Or let you.”

“Let me? What do you mean?”Arthur's expression was cold and very serious. Then he slammed his hand on the table. “That was my mother, wasn't it? What she said was true, he did kill her.”

Merlin sighed. He knew this would be one of the wounds he would have to throw salt onto. Arthur needed to know all the truths. “Yes, that was your mother and what she said was true. But,” he added quickly because Arthur's face was turning red, “I'm sure your father was unaware that the price would be her life. He loved her and never wanted any harm to come to her.”

“He used magic to conceive me,” Arthur said, his face now pale. “And when it killed my mother he turned against it. That's what happened isn't it? The Great Purge?”

“Yes,”Merlin said looking down at the table.

“That still doesn't explain his death, though.” Arthur said.

It was Morgana who answered him, saying plainly, “Merlin had nothing to do with Uther's death. That was me. And, of course, the man who stabbed him. That was not me.”

Both Merlin and Arthur turned to Morgana. Arthur's hands were shaking, coupled with his already bloodless pallor, and Merlin's heart ached to watch him discover these truths. “You killed our father?”

“He was dying, as Merlin said. I just made sure magic would not save him.” Morgana shifted nervously and looked away. “At the time, I thought I would feel relief and satisfaction,” Morgana said her eyes focused on nothing. “But I didn't. I felt abandoned and totally alone.” She turned to Arthur and laid her hand on his forearm gently. “I am sorry for the pain it caused you.”

Arthur stared at his sister. His jaw clenched and Merlin knew he was grinding his teeth, something he did when contemplating his next move or important decision. He said nothing.

One of the candles on the table gutted and Merlin suggested, "It's late. We've talked for hours and we all need to think about what has been said. Maybe we should take a break?”

“Yes.” Morgana stood up quickly. “I'll have some dinner brought in.” She bustled out of the door leaving Merlin and Arthur at the table. The air was stuffy and Merlin felt almost shy, alone with Arthur. He made to get up but was stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Merlin,” Arthur said clearing his throat. “Will you stay a minute, I would like to ask you more about... my father and mother.”  
  


                                                                             **************************************  
  


Arthur felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest and he was now trying to take slow controlled breathes at an attempt to stay calm. He had known it was going to be a challenging meeting, but so far it only seemed to solidify his distrust of magic and his traitorous sister. And Merlin's lies.

Listening to Morgana's stories, he had begun to understand how she had felt and was even considering forgiveness. But her admission that she reversed Merlin's magic to save his father- and Arthur was  
still tied up in knots that Merlin was the cantankerous old wizard- was making his temples throb and his blood boil.

Not to mention his best friend lying to him about seeing his mother and convincing him that his father was innocent in the events leading up to his own conception. He looked at the man beside him. He still looked the same, but Arthur knew he was finally peeling away the layers of confusion he had always felt when it came to his servant. There had always been something odd, something wise, and something more behind the man that was Merlin.

“I'm sorry I lied to you,” Merlin said. Arthur wasn't sure exactly which lies he was apologizing for. “I couldn't let you kill your father. You would never have forgiven yourself. Uther was many things, but despite his flaws, he loved you. And he must have loved your mother, to have gone to such lengths to avenge her passing.” He paused, as if searching Arthur's face for a sign to continue. “And I believe he loved Morgana too, or his heart wouldn't have broken when she turned on Camelot.”

Arthur felt some of the tension seep out of his shoulders. Merlin always seemed to know exactly what to say to diffuse his anger. Not only was he not an idiot, he was quite skillful.

“So, that truly was my mother Morgause summoned?” Arthur had felt his mother's arms around him and she'd said she was proud of the man he was becoming. But the rage he had felt toward his father had been a poison that flowed through him as he rode back to Camelot, ready to strike his father down for what he had done- the betrayal of using magic, blaming magic and then attempting to destroying it.

“I believe it was her, yes, Arthur,” Merlin said gently.

“He enlisted the help of magic to create his heir,” Arthur said. It went against everything he knew of his father. “Then when it went wrong he took his anger and grief out on all the magic users in the kingdom.”

“Yes,” Merlin whispered. He looked afraid, not of Arthur but perhaps of how Arthur would react to this information.

“Do you know who this sorcerer was who... helped?”

“It was Nimueh. She is dead now,” Merlin said then added, “I killed her. To save you from the Questing Beast.”

Arthur's felt his eyes widen in response to the shock of that revelation. This tangled web just kept getting thicker. He rubbed his hands across his face and sighed. “Ok, let's just set that topic aside- for now. I want to understand about my birth and what role magic played in it.”

Merlin nodded. “To create a life, a life must be taken. That is the balance of the Old Religion. As a High Priestess, Nimueh surely knew this. I don't know if she explained this to your father, but the price was your mother's life. It was not your fault. I don't even know if it was Uther's fault. Maybe it was Nimeuh's, maybe it was the Gods'. In Uther's rage and mourning, he drove Nimeuh out of Camelot. But he didn't stop there. Something in him- broke. He blamed all magic for this injustice and turned his back on the Old Religion.” Merlin finished and looked at Arthur expectantly.

“So, because of one death, there were 25 years of death, to thousands of others. Innocent men, women, even children.” He felt so tired. So much of what had been said over the course of the day had challenged things he had never questioned. He was questioning them now. With a sigh of resignation, he looked up at Merlin. “Merlin, magic isn't evil is it?”

He watched Merlin's face contort and his eyes fill. A tear trickled down Merlin's cheek that he had to restrain himself from wiping away. “No, sire.” Merlin sniffled and wiped his hand across his nose, shaking his head to regain composure.

“Tell me what happened when you tried to heal my father.” He needed all the facts about that death.

Merlin sighed. “I found a powerful spell to use and I knew it would work. My magic was strong enough. I did everything correctly. And it was working- you saw him wake up. Then it suddenly reversed and the life drained out of him so quickly. There was nothing I could do.”

Merlin looked desperate for Arthur to believe him- and Arthur did. They were still at the truth table, but even without that he knew Merlin wasn't fabricating this. He never was able to hide his emotions very well. How Arthur hadn't figured out the magic over all those years was beyond him.

“Later, Gaius found an amulet around Uther's neck. It was enchanted, no doubt by Morgana,” Merlin said.

“How did it get there? How did Morgana know my plans?” But he answered his own question. “Agrevaine.” He had felt it was his duty to tell his uncle of his plans to use magic to heal his father. If he hadn't, his father might still be alive.

“Why did you or Gaius never tell me of the amulet? You let me think the old sorcerer killed him.”

“It didn't seem to matter much then. You were so hardened against magic after Uther died. No matter what I said, you were hell bent on blaming magic. I didn't see the point.”

“Merlin, you have consistently decided what I should be privy to and what should be hidden from me,” Arthur said sharply. He saw Merlin swallow. “For all your talk of what a great king I will be, you still felt it necessary to filter the information.”

Merlin said nothing and looked away, the tips of his ears reddened. He hoped it was with shame, but before he could say anything, Morgana appeared at the doorway with several servants carrying trays of food and fresh candles. Arthur's stomach growled at the smell of the fare, though after the proceedings his wasn't sure if he could actually eat. He definitely would enjoy a tankard of strong mead.

They didn't speak much as they ate, but after the plates had been cleared (Arthur secured the wineskin near him) Morgana turned to him. “Arthur, for us to move forward we have to come clean with our past actions. I have apologized for Uther and need to know if you can consider forgiveness for this.  
Maybe not now, but perhaps one day. That is all I can expect. What say you?”

Arthur was surprised at her candor, but Morgana had always be frank and forthright with her words. In his adolescence this had been infuriating. “I know you were not entirely to blame for his death. That was Odin's man. But, I do know you wished him dead and enchanted the amulet that ultimately caused him to die. That will be a hard thing to forgive.” Could he somehow get past the fact that his sister had played a large part in her own father's death? “I wish I could say otherwise, but as the truth spell is in place, I cannot. At least not now.”

Her eyes flashed and he saw something cold in them. “I thought you to be a merciful king,” she said, but her voice seemed off. “I should have known after you left me to rot in that pit, that you aren't so different from Uther, after all.”

Arthur saw the pain and anger seething from her, yet he had no idea what she was talking about. He looked over at Merlin and saw the same confusion on his face. “What pit?” he asked. “I don't know anything about that-”

“Don't tell me you never heard I was captured by the Sarrum and chained in a stone pit for over two years. Aithusa and I barely escaped, and I still have nightmares.”

She stopped abruptly as if she had said too much and Arthur was appalled. “I have heard of the barbaric ways of the Sarrum, but I have had no dealings with him. I swear I never heard anything about this, though I am surprised word was never sent to me. And who is Aithusa?"

He turned to Merlin who said, “No, sire, I knew nothing of this.”

"Two years? I suppose that would explain the reprieve we had, with no threats from you for so long. You were trapped somewhere and I never knew? I am sorry, Morgana."

Morgana looked thoughtful and he knew she was considering the truth spell and that he could not be lying.

“Is that why Aithusa's wings are so...bent? And why she can't talk?” Merlin asked.

“You know of Aithusa?” Morgana asked. “Talk? I... I can understand her feelings through my magic.”

Merlin seemed to struggle over his words, but eventually said, “I called her from her egg.”

Arthur stared at Merlin. “The dragon egg? The one you said perished in the collapse of the tower?”

“Uh, yes?”

“What do you mean, you called her from her egg?” Arthur asked, but he saw Morgana's eyes go wide.

“You command the dragons?” she questioned.

“I am the last dragonlord,” Merlin admitted.

“I thought Balinor was the last dragonlord?” Arthur said, knowing he would regret his words.

“He was. Until he died. He was my father,” Merlin said softly.

“Balinor was your father? Merlin, why didn't you tell me?” Always secrets with Merlin. He had never trusted Arthur and that hurt. Arthur was beginning to wonder if he knew Merlin at all and he realized that thought was far more disturbing than even discovering his magic.

“How could I? Uther would never have believed I didn't have magic if he knew,” Merlin protested.

Arthur silently agreed that Uther would have done something unforgivable if he had known about Merlin. But that didn't mean Arthur would have.

Morgana interrupted with a question that Arthur had not even considered. "I am curious why you came to the one place that could be more dangerous to a sorcerer than any other?"

"Well, Ealdor is a small village and when odd things started happening too often, people started to talk. My mother thought I would blend in better in a larger place. She wrote to Gaius and asked if he would help. I didn't expect to end up working for the prince, so close to the king. And I didn't know what my magic was for. I had so much of it, I felt... like a monster. I'd never heard of anyone else who could do magic without spells. I could move objects before I could walk. It was as natural as breathing. After a few days in Camelot, I realized that I was in more danger than ever."

"Why did you stay?" Arthur asked.

"I...I didn't know at first. And then, I saved you, Arthur and suddenly my magic had purpose. That is what I was told, anyway."

"Told by whom?”

"By...the great dragon." Merlin looked bewildered, as if he wished his mouth would clamp shut.

Arthur stared, eyes wide, trying once again to fathom out all Merlin had revealed.

"Wait, the dragon that was chained up under the castle, Merlin?" he asked pointedly.

"Yes?" Merlin shrugged. "I didn't know what to make of his talk of destiny, coins and...you.  
I thought you were such an immense prat I wanted nothing more than to leave and go back home to Ealdor," Merlin said fondly.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Likewise.”

"Why did you stay?" Morgana asked. "You were in Camelot with a king that despised magic, working as a servant for an obnoxiously arrogant prince who treated his dogs better"

"Hang on," Arthur protested, but Morgana held up her hand for Merlin to answer.

"Why didn't you leave?" she asked again.

"I couldn't. Arthur seemed to be a crisis magnet. He always needed saving. I wanted to walk away, but how could I? Who else would make sure Arthur became king?"

"I didn't need you watching over me like a child, Merlin. I am the greatest knight in the five kingdoms. I was trained to protect others remember? If you wanted to leave, you could have gone anytime," Arthur said petulantly and offended at Merlin's words. Words that were now spinning through years of close calls, unbelievable quests and fortunate situations that may not have been lucky breaks.

"Left at anytime, huh? Well, you may be the best knight, but a fat lot of good that would have done against magic. You don't know how many times I had to step in..." Merlin trailed off, this time actually placing his hand over his mouth.

Merlin's actions confirmed what he had been thinking. Merlin had stepped in many times. Arthur's mind was whirling through the events he could recall. Merlin had said something about the Questing Beast? That time at the Fisher King's castle, Arthur had been passed out and Merlin was there when he woke. In fact, Arthur seemed to have been “knocked out” quite of few questionable times.

“Tell me, Merlin.” Arthur gritted out the command.

Merlin swallowed hard and his eyes went wide. “I... don't... know where to begin.”

Arthur flexed his hands out of their tightly curled fists and took a deep breath. “Just start at the beginning,” he said slowly, as if talking to a young child.

Merlin looked back at him for a moment, remembering. "The first time with Lady Helen, then Valiant, the griffin, oh! and the poison I drank from the goblet, The Questing Beast, Sophie and her father, who were actually not human and Sigan." Merlin stopped for a moment fiddling with his tunic and then continued. "Sometimes it was small things, like distracting bandits, but other times were more complicated." He turned to Morgana. "Like the immortal army, and the doracha..." His eyes welled up and he swiped at them unconsciously.

Arthur was a combination of stunned and livid. How had he not noticed all of this going on? Perhaps he wasn't as sharp as he thought. Looking at it now, he must have been blind. And what was Merlin doing all this for? Had he been manipulating Arthur all these years?

“Has there been anything I have actually done on my own, Merlin?” He knew his voice sounded strained, possibly due to his clenched teeth and bubbling anger.

Merlin just stared back. Arthur watched his friend's face go from guilty to troubled and then to resolute. “There were things I did to protect you and Camelot that I am not proud of. I never wanted to hide any of it from you, you must believe me. But, I did what I had to do. I did what I thought was necessary. I used my magic to keep you safe so you could take the throne.” Merlin sat up straighter and added, “I would do it all again.”

Arthur studied Merlin through narrowed eyes as he asked, “Why didn't you tell me? And don't hide behind my father. I can maybe understand why you hid back then, but he has been gone for years.”

He had only seen half of what was actually going on right under his nose. Merlin had kept him in the dark, protected him yes, but also concealed important information. Merlin had protected himself.

“I wanted to! So many times, but then something else would happen to make you hate magic. And then, it just felt like it was too late. I had been lying so long, I knew if you found out you would send me away, or worse. I needed to be there,” Merlin said.

Arthur knew Merlin was telling the truth. The spell would make sure of that. Yet, he couldn't help feeling there was more underneath that he wasn't saying.

“So many others betrayed me, Merlin” Arthur said quietly. “You knew how much I hated lying and how I relied on you. You were always the one person who kept me grounded. Who was always beside me. You saw everything. You know everything about me. I thought I had the same. I thought I knew you.”

“I'm still the same person.”

“But you're not, are you? You're Emrys.” Arthur saw Merlin flinch at the name. “Tell me more. What of the Questing Beast you mentioned earlier?”

So Merlin explained the sacrifice he had been prepared to make for Arthur. And Arthur remembered a similar conversation at the Isle of the Blessed. Merlin had said, 'I will take your place. What is the life of a servant compared to that of prince?' Arthur had thought it a noble gesture, but Merlin had planned to carry it through.

As Merlin unraveled the threads of his actions in Camelot, Arthur heard several things coming through loud and clear. Merlin believed in him. He had repeatedly told him this, but his actions now supported his words. Merlin's loyalty was unwavering. If Arthur had any doubts of this, they were squashed like a bug under his boot. He may be a liar and a sorcerer, but he had never betrayed Arthur and had always, always put his king before all else. It was a bit frightening. He was glad Merlin was on his side. It was hard to imagine him as a ruthless killer. But he wasn't ruthless, that was the point. He acted when he had to, even against his gentle nature.

“What about the dragon?” Arthur reached for his wine. “I have a bad feeling I am not going to like this.” he mumbled drinking the contents of his glass.

Merlin stilled for a moment, as if contemplating his words. Arthur could picture the Merlin of the past tainting the story, or telling only part of it. He was glad the truth spell was in place. He wanted to hear everything, whether he liked it or not.

Merlin gulped down his drink before taking a deep breath. “The dragon called to me when I first came to Camelot. I followed his voice to a cavern deep below the castle. He helped, passing me wisdom when I needed it, though sometimes he was more cryptic than helpful. He told me about you. And me. And how we were destined to do great things. He also told me how Uther had kept him chained down there for over 20 years. After awhile, he wanted something in exchange for the advice he had given me.”

Merlin stopped and looked at Arthur and then at Morgana. “I didn't know what to do. All of Camelot was asleep, the knights of Medhir were attacking and I was afraid the citadel would fall to Morgause. The dragon said he would only tell me how to break the spell if I promised to unchain him. What else could I do? I had to agree! So, after everything returned to normal, I went to the cavern and let him go.” Merlin's face twisted in pain as he looked to Arthur expectantly. “I didn't know what he would do, I swear. I tried to stop him, but my magic didn't work.”

Arthur's rage rose to the surface once again, as he remembered the hundreds of people who perished from the dragon's wrath. “Merlin,” he almost growled, then didn't know what else to say.

“When Balinor died, his power transferred to me. When we rode out to face the dragon, I promised I would kill him if he ever attacked Camelot again. You didn't actually kill him,” Merlin finished, his pleading eyes turned toward Arthur.

How could he forgive Merlin for this? Yet, he had done it to protect Camelot from Morgause and the Knights of Medhir. The price, in this case, had been a steep one.

“Sometimes I would fix one thing, only to create something worse,” Merlin said, as if in answer to Arthur's thoughts. “In return for saving Camelot, I created an enemy.” He glanced at Morgana. “And unleashed the dragon on innocents. I apologize to you both, again, for the consequences of my actions.”

“This is why you should have told me what was going on, Merlin. You never were good at planning things out,” Arthur said pointlessly. The wine was affecting him now. He was too tired to be thinking properly. “I think we should end this for tonight; it's late.”

Morgana said, “I agree.” Her face was lit by the candlelight and Arthur could almost see the young woman he knew so many years ago. If only it hadn't gone so wrong. If there was a way the three of them could work together, there would be nothing they couldn't accomplish. His sister and Merlin at his side, he could continue his plans for a united kingdom. When did Merlin capture such a large part of his future? Must be the wine.

Morgana stood and said, “I'll be right back.” She floated out of the room her black gown rustling.

Arthur reached for the wine pitcher and poured another. He held the pitcher up indicating to Merlin he would pour for him as well. “Sure, why not.” Merlin picked up his goblet and held it under the pitcher. “Not like the King has ever served me wine.” He chuckled weakly, but still appeared troubled by the weight of their recent conversation.

Arthur lifted his goblet and took a drink. “I understand you did what you needed to do to stop Morgause. I know you would never purposefully harm the people of Camelot.”

Merlin exhaled, it sounded like relief. His expression lightened and there was even a faint smile on his lips, as he sipped his wine.

Morgana returned to let them know their rooms were ready. “Merlin, You know where your room is. Arthur, you can follow Vima and she will lead you to yours.” She indicated a tall girl standing beside her. “Let the servants know if you need anything during the night. We will continue this in the morning, after breakfast.” Arthur finished the last of his wine and stood.

“I just want to say,” she added. “Thank you, Merlin, for suggesting this meeting and thank you, Arthur, for coming.” Then she swept out.

Arthur looked at Merlin with raised brows and said, “That was unexpected.”

Merlin nodded and rubbed his wrists and Arthur could see the red lines where the bracelets had been.

“I...I'm sorry.”Arthur said. Merlin looked at him questioningly. “For the iron cuffs and- for my reaction to your magic. I never really thought of you as a threat.” That was true, mostly. “I was more angry that you never told me. And that I never figured it out.”

Merlin stared into his eyes. Arthur looked back, expecting for a reply, but one didn't come. He waited. The emotion he could see in his friend's eyes was intense and he felt a bit uncomfortable. The deep blue of Merlin's eyes seemed to penetrate into his soul. He coughed and turned away which startled Merlin into shaking his head and standing up.

“I'll see you in the morning,” Arthur said following the tall girl out of the room.

Just before the door closed behind him, he heard Merlin say, “Goodnight, Arthur.”

                                                                                     *********************************

Merlin woke refreshed. He felt lighter and healthier. No doubt due to the removal of the cuffs, but also because his guilt-ridden conscious had finally had a chance to come clean with Arthur and Morgana.

He rose, padded barefoot to the sunny window and considered their conversations of the night before. Overall, the day had gone pretty well. There had been some tense moments, as the three of them aired their thoughts and feelings. Actually, it was quite incredible and hard to believe.

He had no idea how Arthur would feel in light of the new day, but at last he, himself, could be honest with his king. Arthur now knew who Merlin was and also what Merlin had sacrificed to keep him safe. How it would go from there, well... he would just have to wait and see. And if he was hoping he would be able to return to Camelot with Arthur, he kept that thought tucked close.

He also wanted to ask Morgana more about the druids and mages in the castle. And about Aithusa.

A knock at his door announced the druid girl and breakfast. “Hello again.” he said to her.

She curtsied. “Good morning, milord.”

“What is your name?” he asked as he reached for some toast.

“I am Mayla,” she said quietly.

“Call me Merlin. Thank you for the breakfast. Are there many of you here, Mayla?”

“Yes. Well, maybe fifteen or twenty, between the guards and servants. The Lady Morgana promised us freedom to use our magic. No harm would come to us if we helped her.”

Merlin would have to find out what Morgana's intentions were. Though he suspected they were part of a magical army she had been raising to attack Camelot. And Arthur. What would happen now? Would she let her anger and schemes for revenge go?

Mayla was looking at him expectantly, so he said, “I will be talking with Morgana again today. I'll see if I can find out what her plans are.”

She smiled. “The Lady Morgana says you are to join her when you are finished with your breakfast.”

When Merlin found his way back to the room they had talked in the day before, Arthur and Morgana were already seated at the table.

“Never on time for anything, huh, Merlin?” Arthur said lightly. Was that his attempt at a joke?

“Am I late?” Merlin frowned, as he sat in his seat at the table. “I don't remember there being a set time to meet.

“Don't listen to him.” Morgana smiled. She was wearing a light green dress and her hair was pulled up and braided down her back. She was a beautiful woman, there was no doubt. He remembered first coming to Camelot and being entranced by her charm, beauty and wit. Arthur accused him of fancying her once, but he couldn't have been more mistaken.

“I would like to re-cast the truth spell, if you both are in agreement?”

Merlin nodded and Arthur reached out to clasp hands with him and his sister. Morgana closed her eyes and whispered the words that would bring forth only the truth while they sat there.

As soon as she began to speak, Merlin felt the crackle of the spell settling over the table and once she was done, he said, “We discussed some big issues yesterday and a lot was said. If anyone has further questions about past events, or needs more information about what has already been said, let's begin there.”

Arthur asked a few specific questions about “incidents” he figured out had some magical interference. Merlin explained everything, watching the king's reaction which, today, seemed to be acceptance laced with curiosity.

“What about the dorocha, Merlin? I wondered why you were the only one who didn't freeze from their touch?”

“Lancelot and I found a pool of water sprites, villia. When Morgana opened the gateway between the worlds, she released helpful spirits, as well. They healed me,” Merlin said. “Lancelot knew I was the only one who could help you and repair the tear. So, the next day, we quickly rode back to the Isle.”

He watched Arthur tilt his head, like a dog hearing a shrill sound.

“Lancelot knew you were the only one,” Arthur stated leaning toward Merlin and looking at him sharply. “He knew, didn't he? About your magic?”

“Yes. He did.” Arthur's eyes narrowed. “But he found out quite by mistake. He heard me casting the spell on the lance to kill the griffin.”

Arthur said nothing, only sat thinking. After a minute he sighed. “So, that's why he left. You actually killed the griffin. Noble Lancelot couldn't take the credit he felt he didn't deserve.”

“I told him to stay. He was the one who faced it and threw the lance. He deserved to be a knight,” Merlin said remembering the lengths he had gone to try and make that happen. He had found a friend he could trust, who knew who Merlin really was, and then he was gone.

“He knew,” Arthur repeated and his face looked sour when he asked, “Who else knows, Merlin?

“No one!” Merlin said quickly, the corrected himself. “Well, Gaius. My mum, of course. Will knew.”

“And?” Arthur prompted, scowling.

“Some magical people know, but I didn't tell them.”

“Gwaine?” Arthur asked, looking at him hard.

“No, Gwaine doesn't know. At least, I don't think he does.” Although Merlin had been close to Gwaine over the past few years, and he suspected Gwaine wanted to be closer than friends, he had never felt comfortable telling Gwaine something so important before Arthur knew.

“Anyone else?” Arthur said flatly.

“I think anyone else who knew is dead...”

“Because I had a very interesting talk with Mordred before I came here.” Merlin knew he winced at that. He had tried not to think about the prophecy and Mordred. That was something they would need to discuss. He saw Morgana pale at the mention of Mordred and he wondered where her feelings lay after Ismere.

“Yes, Mordred knows.” He didn't want to say too much. Mordred had promised to keep Merlin's secret and he would do the same. He didn't want to do anything to trigger the prophecy.

“Because he's a druid?” Arthur asked.

Merlin bit his tongue to stop the words about to spill out. Damn truth spell.

“Mordred has magic.” Morgana did the damage for him.

Arthur startled and sat back in his chair. He looked down at his hands, which were resting on the table.

“I thought you knew, Arthur? He is a druid,” Morgana said. “He spoke to me in my head when he was a child and I was hiding him in Camelot. We formed a connection- both of us scared and hiding our magic.”

Merlin was afraid of this connection, as the dragon had duly warned. He would have to tell them of the prophecy. Arthur deserved to know and Morgana was also heavily involved.

“You knew?” Merlin found Arthur's gaze on him.

“Yes. He was the first to call me Emrys. He was just a boy, then.”

Arthur looked puzzled. “Why you don't like him, Merlin? It seems you should be friends, both having magic.”

“I do like him,” Merlin said. “It's just... there is something else. Something I can't ignore.”

He didn't want to tell them, as if hiding it would make it less real, but he had to. “There is a prophecy,” he said. “About a druid who is meant to take your life.” He looked at Arthur. “I have been warned several times that he will align with Morgana and bring about your downfall.” Just saying the words made him shudder. He remembered the vision from the ancient seer on the way to Ismere. “I saw the battle and Mordred. I saw him run you through...” He closed his eyes and pushed away the horrific scene with its red flags, death, and failure, on his part, to save Arthur.

“But Mordred stabbed me and left for Camelot,” Morgana said softly.

When Merlin opened his eyes, Arthur's head was in his hands, elbows balancing on the edge of the wooden table. He stayed like that, unmoving for a few moments.

“Mordred has become a trusted knight of Camelot,” Merlin said, his voice tight. “Which makes it extra hard for me to protect you, Arthur. I know you trust him and like him.”

Arthur lifted his head to look at him. “And you think Mordred is this druid of prophecy, meant to kill me?”

“I know it is hard to imagine, sire. But, yes. I have been warned too many times to ignore it.”

Morgana was frowning. “I had hoped Mordred would join me to take Camelot,” she said plainly. “I saw this in my dreams. I have been gathering other sorcerers to help.”

“Are they the servants here in the castle?” Merlin asked, taking this chance for more information.

“Yes. I have been scouring the land for those with significant power to help my cause.”

The air hung heavy with the implications of this. If Morgana had aligned with Mordred and brought her army of magic users to Camelot, the results could have been the fatal battle.

“That's how I stumbled upon you and your knights. I sensed an enormous amount of power. And then there you were, bound and chained to that tree, Merlin,” she said.

Arthur sat up straighter. “Ok, it seems we are here for a purpose. We are healing past wounds, miscommunications and righting wrongs. We have also been gifted with a prophecy of what might be. It is up to us to decide which path we want to walk. If we continue as we are, it seems certain we will tear the kingdom apart, with death, destruction and war.” He stopped a moment and Merlin thought no God could look as beautiful, or as regal.

“I am willing to embrace the recent knowledge I have been given.” He turned to Merlin with a small lift of his brow. “Of magic, loyalty, friendship and family to create a new future. One that includes all of us working together, magic and the crown.”

Merlin knew that he was beaming and tried not to let his heart escape from his chest.

Morgana said with a tiny smile, “That was a nice speech Arthur. But let's discuss what it actually means.”  
  


                                                                                  ********************************  
  


These sessions were more strained than a meeting of the five kingdoms. Arthur recalled his father locked in the throne room for days with the other kings of neighboring regions. But, it was serious. These negotiations could actually decide the future of Camelot and his reign.

So many words had been exchanged. New things he had never known. His head was spinning, trying to catch up and move forward.

Morgana had fallen into despair and hatred because she had not been accepted by Uther. And she had shifted those feelings to Arthur when he became king. She wanted equality for magic users and some restitution from the crown, he assumed.

Merlin. That idiot. Risking his life everyday to keep Arthur safe, and in the dark about his own life. Making decisions he should never have made on his own. And the magic of Emrys? This powerful sorcerer of legend was Merlin, apparently.

On a deeper level, Arthur now understood his father's hatred of magic. The seed that had grown into a full blown war against magic. Uther's proactive hunt, turned gentle magic into defensive magic. He had created the enemies. What choice did they have but to protect themselves from his fury?  
To sorcerer's, Arthur was an extension of Uther and, as such, was targeted. His reign as king was in jeopardy if he didn't change the path. He felt that he was seeing everything clearly for the first time in his life.

Once lunch had been cleared, they settled back at the table. Arthur had always excelled in planning strategies. His father had commented on this at an early age, and Arthur had been thrilled to get even a moment of appreciation from him. To work together for peace would take a bit of thought. Things with Morgana would need to worked out first. He turned to her.

“Let's see if we can agree on where to go from here,” He began. “You want freedom and equality for magicians, druids and the like. What other conditions do you require?”

Morgana appeared surprised to be asked this. She took a moment to answer. “I must be absolved for all my previous actions,” she paused again looking back at him. “And I would like to be restored as princess of Camelot.” Her voice rang out strong.

That meant acknowledging her as a Pendragon, something his father could never bring himself to do. Even as he grieved when Morgana turned against him, his pride and stubbornness maintained that she was just the king's ward. If his father had recognized her as a princess, would she still have turned against them? He would never know.

“You want to come back to the citadel?”

“It is my home, even if I have been gone a few years. I also want to be able to practice and continue the Old Religion as High Priestess.”

Arthur nodded and waited to allow them to absorb his agreement, before saying, “I would like to have my sister by my side, as an advisor and friend once again. But, I would need to be able to trust your words and actions. That may take some time to rebuild.”

He turned to Merlin. “What issues do you see with allowing magic back into Camelot?”

“Well, at first many will fear it is a trick. But, eventually, with time and demonstration that magic is accepted, the people will believe. I am not sure that Morgana coming back right away would help. Sorry,” Merlin said, then added, “However, if magic was practiced freely in the court this may go a long way to ease the fear of persecution.”

“Can magic be monitored?” Arthur asked.

“We would have to create rules, but unless someone was using it to harm, I don't think it necessary to control it too closely.”

“What if someone is conjuring gold coins? Or changing the weather? Would we not have to keep that in check?” Arthur questioned.

“Very few come close to that type of power,” Morgana said looking at Merlin.

“Before the Great Purge, magic was a part of everyday life. Some people could heal a loved one, or extend their wheat supply a few days. We could talk to Gaius more about it, surely he remembers how it was governed, if at all,” Merlin suggested.

“Yes, Gaius will be helpful,” Arthur agreed. Was he actually agreeing to this? He seemed to be. “After everything I have learned here I find it impossible to believe magic is evil and should be feared. I will agree to revoke all bans on magic, but it will be done slowly and wisely. I will need help from both of you to manage this. Merlin, can you sense magic in others? Would you know if someone powerful had ill intent?”

Merlin laughed. “Yes, I have years of practice in that.”

“Morgana, as Merlin said it will be a slow process to bring you back to Camelot. I hope you understand that the people are wary of your past actions. It might be helpful to reach out to the druids and sorcerers you know, to spread word of Camelot's change of status. Could we agree to meet here, or somewhere close to Camelot, every fortnight to discuss progress and changes?”

Morgana smiled. “Yes, that is a good idea. A way to keep in contact and for us to reestablish trust.”

“Merlin, I will need you in the citadel to help create the laws and answer questions I have not even thought of yet.” Arthur stopped abruptly and looked at Merlin. “I'm sorry, I never even asked you if you wanted to return to Camelot...with me?”

Merlin's his eyes were filled with unshed tears. “Yes, Arthur, of course. But I don't know if I will have time in between all my usual chores.” Merlin tried to joke but he knew his voice revealed something else. He smiled at Arthur.

“You are magic. You'll find a way to get everything done.” Arthur continued to watch him. He definitely felt his body relax, knowing Merlin would be there for him, once again.

As the day turned into evening, they continued working out ideas to make this new alliance work for all involved. Merlin and Morgana talked in length about Aithusa, who Morgana said was in a cave nearby. Morgana agreed to work with the magic users who were currently in her castle, helping them hone there magic, unless they wanted to return to their homes.

Arthur drank several goblets of wine before Morgana produced a flask of what she called “Magic Tonic” which seemed to be a very strong whiskey. They drank and laughed, as they once did many years before, in Camelot.

“What of a Queen for Camelot, Arthur,” Morgana asked tipping out the last of her flask. “You have turned down many princesses over the years.” She laughed and Arthur couldn't remember the last time he had heard that sound. It warmed him and he cautiously hoped their treaty would lead to him getting his sister back again.

“Well, I could hardly have married Vivian. Or worse, Lady Betula. Remember her? She was as meek as mouse. Wouldn't even look at me when we spoke.”

His sister turned to him seriously. “I thought you would make Gwen your queen.”

Arthur sighed as he recalled his happiness with Gwen and how excited he had been at their impending wedding. But her betrayal with Lancelot had crushed their love. He had forgiven her of course, but it was impossible to go back in time.

“I want to apologize for coming between you two. It was cruel indeed,” she said. Arthur frowned and she sat up straighter. “Oh. Oh, you didn't know.”

“Know what?” he asked, warily.

“I conjured Lancelot to do my bidding. He was what is called a shade. The bracelet he gave to Gwen as a peace offering re-awakened her old feelings.”

He was stunned. Gwen had been enchanted. She hadn't betrayed him at all and he had threatened to executed her; had exiled her. He turned pointedly to see Merlin sag in his chair, avoiding his gaze. “You knew,” he said coldly.

“I... I discovered it right before he took his life,” Merlin said softly. “I tried to talk to you about Gwen-”

Arthur held up his hand. “Don't.” How could his friend have hidden such an enormous thing from him? Something that may have altered his life in such a big way. Once again, he was enraged.

“You were so angry, you wouldn't listen,” Merlin said.

“Did you ever _once_ try to tell the truth? If you were so worried about me finding out about your magic, you could have said Gaius discovered the bracelet. Or anything. Why the hell didn't you tell me she was enchanted?”

“I'm sorry, I don't know why. It all happened so fast. Suddenly, Lancelot was back and then it all went wrong, and then we were invaded, and Agrevaine...” He trailed off rubbing his hands over his face.

“Would it have made a difference?” Arthur turned at Morgana's question. “If you had known, I mean. You did forgive Gwen and allow her back into Camelot. But not as your queen. As a lady and advisor.”

Arthur had considered this when he had allowed Gwen back. They had discussed it at length. He had loved her, but during her absence, he realized it was more of a sisterly love. He had grown up with her around. She was good for him in a way that made him strive for more and want to become a great king.  
Gwen never told him what he wanted to hear. She spoke the truth and even scolded him, when she felt he was out of line. She was more like a mother. That was a bizarre thought.

If Lancelot had never returned, he was sure he would have married her. They would have fit togetherconveniently and Gwen would have been advising him, just as she did now. Only, as his queen.

“I am sorry, Arthur.” Merlin said again.

“You should be. This will be straightened out when we return to Camelot. There should be no mark upon Gwen's character, since she was innocent. I know what people thought of her after the incident,” Arthur said still glaring daggers at Merlin. He added, “Seems, you never told me anything.”

“You could have married her if you'd wanted to when she returned,” Merlin threw back, with a touch of heat. “You always were willing to do _whatever_ when it came to Gwen.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means you always took her side. Always went out of your way to be nice to her,” Merlin said. He raised his hand to his lips with a look of surprise on his face.

“She deserved it.” Gwen never lied to him. She never hid things.

“Oh, and I supposed I didn't.”

“You almost sound... jealous Merlin.”

“What? No!”

Arthur noticed Morgana watching him closely. Her head turned to Merlin and then back to him. “Oh my gods!” she suddenly exclaimed, standing and walking out of the room. It startled both Arthur and Merlin into silence and Arthur grabbed for the last of the tonic and downed a cup.  
  


                                                                                  ***************************************  
  


Merlin was feeling quite tipsy. He never was good with strong spirits and they had been drinking and talking for awhile.  
  
“There was something I remembered, but I couldn't figure it out,” Morgana said as she returned, carrying a large, ancient-looking brown book.   
  
She deposited the tome on the table with a bang. He righted himself and peered at the book, but the words on the cover, were blurry.

“There was something you said earlier and I couldn't place it,” Morgana said. “I can't believe I never saw this before. There was another prophecy, and I don't think we understood properly. That of Emrys and The Once and Future King. Merlin, you said that the dragon and others told you about your destiny with Arthur. And that you were fulfilling it."

“Yes,” Merlin said tentatively.

“You also said something about two sides of a coin, that sounded familiar. I just remembered that the legend is in here.” She pointed to the tome on the table. Opening the book, she leafed through it for a few moments, until she apparently found what she was looking for. Then she began to read.  
  
_“The sorcerer of all power joined with the king of gold,_  
_Once and Future will flourish with magic he will hold._

_Two sides of this coin can't be undone,_  
_One side hawk, the other dragon._

_The golden king and sorcerer of the earth,_  
_Side by side Albion will birth_

_As two become one their strength will unfold,_  
_United together their souls are foretold.”_

 

Merlin blinked when she finished reading. What did all that mean? The dragon had told him some of it, but not like that. He wondered why Gaius had never spoken of this verse. Maybe it had burned like most other magic books in the Great Purge.

Morgana turned to him with an unrecognizable expression and said, "Merlin, you have stood by Arthur's side for years now, making sure he was safe, protecting Camelot. Yet he never knew. You helped from the shadows with no credit or recognition."

"That's not why I did it." Merlin retorted.

"Yes, I know. But why did you continue to do it? You are Emrys, the most powerful sorcerer as it has been written throughout the ages. Yet, you have been a lowly servant to Arthur for how many years now?"

"Ten?"

"Ten years. Ten years polishing, scrubbing and running around after him. With no appreciation, no promotion. Why? You yourself told me that Arthur has knighted his commoner friends. He has made those close to him advisors, lords- yet, you alone, remain his servant." She shook her head in quiet disbelief.

Merlin watched her closely, trying to figure out what she was up to. His drink-induced fuzziness wasn't making it easy. "I am there to fulfill my destiny. You just read it. Side by side and everything." He turned his head to glance at Arthur who was watching him intently.

“Yes, destiny.” Morgana smiled. She reached out placing her fingers over his wrist. "You have lost much over the years, have you not?"

"What do you mean?"

"There have been ones you could not save?"

Merlin's mind flooded with memories of all those who had been sacrificed so that Arthur could live and his destiny be fulfilled. Yes, he had lost much. He didn't want to, but the truth was pulled out by the spell, twining around his heart and mind urging him to answer the question. "Yes. There have been losses. Lancelot. Will. Freya. I was going to leave Camelot with her." He trailed off and looked away.

"You know the hardship you have endured over the years,” Morgana continued. “You have given all of yourself, your magic, your skills, everything but have not received anything in return."

"I do not seek payment," he said, softly. He was too tired to keep revisiting the past. Too many ghosts to face. Too many lives lost. Those he couldn't save and those slain by his own hand, all in the name of Camelot. No, in the name of Arthur. His king. His everything.

Morgana shifted her gaze toward Arthur. “Even though you followed Uther's ways when he was alive, I have watched you grow and clearly make your own rules, as we have already discussed." Arthur's head nodded, his expression solemn. "Starting with the knights of Camelot, you've chosen the brave and the strong over the noble."

"Yes, well, I thought father was wrong to only allow men of noble families to be knights."

She smiled. "And you have elevated many of your friends and fellow knights as advisors, with gifts of land. Even Gwen is now considered a lady and has an estate.”

"Yes, Gwen is a loyal friend and a trusted member of my council," Arthur stated proudly.

"Yet, there is one who has been even more loyal to you. Someone who has always stood by your side. One who puts himself in harm's way to make sure you are protected. He still lives as a servant. No recognition, no status, not even a rise in position. But where higher can the servant to the king rise?" she finished, sarcastically.

"Merlin doesn't want to be a knight," Arthur argued.

"Why have you done this, Arthur?" she asked, her gaze intense on her brother. Merlin was baffled as to where she was headed. Why was she rocking the boat when they were just working it all out?

In his turn, Arthur looked confused and a bit annoyed. "I need someone I can trust as my personal man, not just anyone can attend me. Not just anyone can be privy to the king's chambers."

"Uther had many servants attend him. As King you should as well. You seemed to have overlooked the one person who has done more for you than anyone-"

"That's not fair! I didn't know he had magic. I didn't know he was protecting Camelot."

She snorted. "Not Camelot, brother, you. Always you."

Merlin bowed his head in embarrassment. Had Morgana figured out his final secret? Part of him wished he could magic himself away, but the bigger part wouldn't miss this for the world

“Merlin, there must be something, some other reason other than destiny holding you here. No man could endure this without...something more," Morgana said.

She was not giving up. And what she was seeking was starting to become clear to Merlin. He began to panic. He felt cornered, like a mouse and he knew the truth spell would be his undoing. "What are you asking Morgana? What am I supposed to say?"

"The truth." She softened, looking at him with a bit of pity and understanding. "Why are you still here serving Arthur? Not destiny Merlin. What is the real reason?”

Merlin's hands were clenched, as if that would ward off the truth spell and stop his traitorous lips from spilling the secret that was bigger than his magic.

"I... I can't," he pleaded. But the pressure to speak the truth was too great. He felt Arthur's gaze on him, but there was no way he could look in his direction. "It's all for Arthur. Everything for him," Merlin whispered, lowering his head, staring down at the table.

It seemed so long ago he had stood in that cave in front of that great beast, while the dragon spouted cryptic explanations of great destiny in riddles. Coins and uniting Albion. He had been an innocent then, having no idea what he would be facing in the years to come. Yet, somewhere along the path, destiny became respect and loyalty and, finally, love and necessity.

Morgana turned to Arthur. "Why did you keep Merlin as your manservant? You are friends, having spent years together, supported each other. Yet, you knight men you've hardly known for a few weeks-"

"I advanced a few townsmen to council, to have better idea of my people's needs. I knighted those who showed loyalty when Camelot needed them. I gave a lifetime loyal servant property and a voice in my court." Arthur was flushed with irritation.

“I am not arguing your decisions. But, my question stands as to why the most loyal, valuable person in your kingdom still polishes boots and fetches breakfast."

"I told you! I need someone I trust close to me. Merlin couldn't be a knight."

"What about an apprentice? He has trained under Gauis for years and been doing the work anyway?" she asked.

"Then who would tend to me?" Arthur's said.

Merlin, still trying to recover from his admission, sat back and watched the conversation volley between brother and sister. There was more she was trying to uncover, it seemed.

"There are many who can attend the king. Now, stop this and tell me- tell _him_ why."

Arthur was flushed and fidgeting, a sure sign of nervousness, though he didn't show it often. He lowered his eyes and seemed to be struggling not to open his mouth. "I...I.." he stuttered, and dropped his head into his hands, again. "I don't want anyone else to attend me," he eventually admitted, his words muffled. He looked up. "I am used to Merlin waking me, bringing my meals...listening to me."

Merlin was frozen, afraid if he moved Arthur might stop talking.

Arthur clasped his hands together, then finally breathed out a large sigh. "I need him beside me. I am a better man because of him." He slumped forward but kept talking in a hushed whisper. "All his stories of destiny and uniting the land. I find myself wanting his approval, wanting to become the great king he speaks of.”

Morgana smiled, but she kept prying. "Could he not still be your friend and have a council position or apprentice with another?"

"No. Merlin belongs to me," Arthur said with resolve. Then, apparently realizing what he had said, his eyes went wide and he stared at his sister.

"Belongs to you? Merlin is not a dog or a sword," she said, as sweet as venom.

"I mean," he said sitting up straight. "He is my manservant and I will decide where he will best serve."

"No, no he is not your manservant. He is EMRYS. He is the equivalent of a Magical King, a legend who has been foretold for centuries. He is your protector, your greatest ally. Stop denying the truth, Arthur. You cannot, even as badly as you are trying. Two sides of this coin can't be undone. One side hawk, the other dragon,” she recited.

Merlin was taken aback by her proclamation. He was truly confused as to what the hell was going on and was about to say so when-

"Alright," Arthur said, slow and reserved. "You want to know why? You want to know that I want him close to me? That I can't imagine my days without his prattle? That he is the only one I can truly be myself with?" He looked away.

"And?" Morgana said softly.

"And... Merlin is mine," he repeated, the words so softly and seriously spoken, that the emotion came through, in spite of his not ideal choice of words.

“Two sides of the same coin,” she said again.

Arthur stood. "I'm sorry, I... I think I need some fresh air." Turning on his heel, he marched to the door.  
“I...” not finishing what he was saying, he opened the door and walked out.

Merlin sat motionless unable to comprehend what had just happened. Had he imagined that conversation? "What have you done, Morgana?" he asked.

"I've watched you two dancing around each other for years. It's time to bring things out into the open. Don't you want to know how he feels about you? Or doesn't it make a difference to you?"

Merlin thought it definitely did make a difference and he wanted to know with every ounce of his being exactly what his king was thinking, but what was the point? It couldn't lead anywhere except to a big hole in Merlin's heart.  
  


                                                                               *******************************  
  
Arthur hurried down the hall, needing more air in his lungs. What he was feeling, what he said -it had to be the spell- but no, it was a truth spell. That meant that his feelings for Merlin were much stronger than he had ever realized.

And feelings were not something he was good at; not at all. He'd rather not think of such things. But, now, under a truth spell, he had been forced to examine what was underneath the irritation, the banter, and the friendship that had been growing for so many years. His need to keep Merlin close and safe.

Maybe there was something to this two sides of a coin nonsense. He didn't return, but instead retired to his room to absorb it.

After trying to sleep unsuccessfully for several hours, Arthur got up and put on his trousers. He had never been one to back away from anything. How could he now, with all this talk of destiny? Thoughts of Merlin had filled his mind, as he went through the past years of their lives. He had always been there, at his side. In every situation, every heartbreaking and happy moment. And the thing was, he wanted him there. He needed him there. He needed him. Merlin.

He walked slowly to the room Merlin was occupying and knocked gently. "Merlin?"

There was no reply. He sighed, wondering what he was doing. What could he say to Merlin? He only knew that he very much needed to be on the other side of that door. "Merlin, can I come in?"  A moment later, he heard the scrape of the bolt and the door opened.

Merlin lay in the bed, his back to the doorway. Shafts of moonlight streamed over his translucent white skin. He looked almost fae. The fact that Merlin was beautiful should have seemed odd to Arthur, but it didn't.

He tentatively inched closer. "I thought we could... talk," he said.

Merlin leaned up on his elbow, but didn't turn around. "It's alright," he said quietly. Then, "It's enough to know you are my friend and that you still care about me." He sounded sad.

Did Merlin not understand his earlier admission to Morgana? Admittedly, Arthur barely understood it himself. Maybe Arthur had mistaken the entire conversation. No, he was pretty sure he knew how Merlin felt.

He crossed the room and placed his hand on Merlin's forearm. “Look at me.” Merlin turned to him, surprise on his face. Arthur frowned and said, "It's not enough for me."

"What do you mean? What's not enough?"

Arthur reached across Merlin's shoulder and slid his hand through the wavy, black hair. Merlin gasped. “Arthur?”

Arthur hoped to the gods Merlin's feelings matched his own. He realized in that moment, he wanted this more than he's ever wanted anything in his life.

"Merlin, I-"

"I can't do this." Merlin pulled back from Arthur, as much as he could while still on the bed. He looked away. "Isn't it enough that you have my fealty, my magic, my heart?”

Arthur lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned in close to Merlin's ear, "You heard what I told Morgana. You are mine."

A veil had been lifted from around him and he could finally see clearly. All the push and pull he and Merlin had indulged in, all the jokes, all the life-and-death moments, even his relationship with Gwen, had all lead to this moment.

Merlin faced him and took a deep breath "Arthur...if we do this...I...I won't be able to go back."

“Go back?”

Merlin reached out, placing his hand against Arthur's face. He lifted Arthur's chin, and looked into his eyes and said softly, "You are all I've been able to see for ten years. You already have my heart. If I give you my body too, you'll have me completely." It was intoxicating being so close, but Arthur had to lean in to hear him. Merlin placed his palm on Arthur's chest. "If we stop now, then there's a chance...that one day... I'll be able to find another and try to make a life."

The thought of Merlin 'making a life' elsewhere, with someone else, was unthinkable. Arthur snarled and pulled Merlin back into him. "I don't want you to find another."

Dragging himself free, Merlin got up and walked to the window, his back to Arthur. "I can't," he whispered. "Arthur, can't you see I'm barely hanging on here."

"Why? Why are you fighting this?" Arthur walked up closely behind him. Merlin was like a magnet and now that Arthur had come to terms with his feelings, he was pulled in.

                                                                          ***********************************

 

Merlin turned and placed his palm on Arthur's chest again. “Arthur. This can't be. Don't you see that? You need a queen, you need an heir, you need- not me. I'll always be here for you, standing beside you. We can still unite Albion and fulfill our destinies."

"But don't you want..."Arthur started.

Merlin closed his eyes. "You have no idea how much I want." He was holding himself so taut he felt he might snap. He shut his eyes in the hope it might help. Maybe he could do this if he wasn't looking at Arthur.

"If I give myself to you...I'll be ruined," he blurted out, still not opening his eyes.

"Ruined?"

"Ruined for anyone else, don't you understand?" Merlin wailed hating that he couldn't reach out and take this, the one he wanted above all others. But, it was not what Arthur needed. He squeezed his fists, nails digging into flesh. He was afraid Arthur would leave. He was afraid Arthur wouldn't leave.

"I want you. And I don't want you with anyone else. Ever. I don't know how I never saw this before, Merlin. It seems so obvious now." He opened his eyes as Arthur paused. “And you heard Morgana, Emrys and the Once and Future King are meant to- become one.”

“Is that the reason you want this?” Merlin asked bewildered. If Arthur felt some sense of duty now that he had learned of the prophecy...

“No, I've pretty much wanted you for years,” Arthur disclosed in a voice low. “We can make it work, I want to make it work. If...if you do.”

Merlin stared right into Arthur's eyes. It felt like he could fall right into his soul, with no thought of ever returning. He saw something that overwhelmed him. Desire and affection. And something else, warm and all encompassing.

He sighed. "You need what I can't give you- a queen, an heir." It was Arthur's duty to Camelot. He must marry for the good of the kingdom; to solidify a treaty with an ally; to gain valuable land- and the most important reason- to continue the Pendragon line.

“Yes, I do need an heir. But I don't need a queen.” Merlin opened his mouth to dispute that statement, but Arthur placed two fingers lightly on his lips. “My father ruled for 25 years without a queen. There are ways... to create an heir who can be acknowledged by the king. An heir can be named, if the king has a nephew, or cousin, or other kin.”

Merlin's pulse raced and he couldn't breath. “You would do that for me?”

Arthur leaned into him, until their foreheads were touching. “Yes.” His lips brushed faintly across Merlin's. “Gods, yes, Merlin. I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for you.”

Merlin shivered under the weight of Arthur's declaration. This could happen. Arthur wanted it to happen. Merlin reached out and stroked his cheek, “I have always been yours. I will always be yours. And there is nothing in this world or any other that would stop me, if you are sure.”

He pulled at the back of Arthur's neck and pressed their lips together in a sultry kiss. It was so much more than anything he'd imagined. Arthur responded immediately, his arms around Merlin's waist tugging him closer.

When they pulled back slightly, Merlin said, “Then, I guess you're stuck with me.”

Arthur's acknowledgment was to kiss across Merlin's jaw and neck. Merlin raised his chin to give better access to his caresses. “Nothing new, then,” he said and then Arthur's tongue began doing incredible things to Merlin's lips.

Merlin opened his mouth slightly and Arthur's breath was ghosting inside his mouth. When he wrapped his tongue around Arthur's, his magic sizzled through his body. It felt new, yet familiar. It felt like home.

Arthur's kiss took on a warriors's ferocity. The heat of his solid body pressed against Merlin, knowing it was Arthur, was blinding Merlin with fever. The sense of _finallyyeslove_ and- the magic. His magic surged through him, out, into Arthur, and then back to him again. It returned with a different flavor. The magic, normally, earthy and organic, like leaves after a rainfall or a salty, windblown beach, was now, scented with a spicy, woodsy tang.

He knew Arthur felt it when he heard him say “What is that?”

It felt to Merlin as if his magic was seeking something. He tried to follow it with the tiny part of his brain that was not lost in Arthur. And then he felt it- a crack and a rush of foreign magic. Arthur's magic. The magic that had created him. It was crimson and flaming and it seemed to consume Merlin. It twined with his own magic of gold and they wove together. Merlin closed his eyes and let the emotion wash through him.

Arthur pushed him back onto the bed and pressed down on top of him. He keened, which dragged a similar reaction in Arthur. “I want to feel you, your skin,” Arthur whispered in his ear. Merlin whimpered with need and began struggling to get out of his tunic.

Arthur sat back on his heels, slid his hands over Merlin's and helped him lift the garment over his head. Then Arthur removed his own shirt, flinging it carelessly to the floor. He lowered himself onto Merlin again, skin to skin. Merlin ran his fingers lightly up Arthur's muscular back. It was amazing to finally touch this body he had dressed and undressed for so many years, in this way. He caressed gently, as if he was caught, Arthur might stop him. Arthur was not stopping him.

Arthur was kissing his neck and biting his ear. He could feel Arthur's hardness through his trousers, and it lit him on fire. The desire he had disguised and locked away for so long was rushing to the surface like air bubbles in a stream and, once free, he was sure he wouldn't ever be able to tamp it down again.

“Arthur,” He breathed, feeling Arthur's tongue running along his bottom lip. “Arthur, I need...”

Arthur's eyes flickered from his lips to his eyes. His face was flushed with beads of perspiration peppering his temples. He looked dazed and amazing. “Touch me.” Arthur trailed his lips down Merlin's chest, as he knelt between Merlin's thighs. He slid his hand down Merlin's side, as he began unlacing his trousers. Merlin inhaled sharply at the fingers slipping inside his smalls and wrapping around his hardness.

“Yes,” he panted, glancing down as Arthur tugged his trousers down his legs and off, tossing them onto the floor. His cock was swollen and needy. Arthur returned and stroked him slowly; sinfully, then shifted his body lower until his lips were brushing over the glistening head. Merlin whined and closed his eyes. He tried to breathe steadily, so it wouldn't be over before it began. Just the thought of Arthur sucking him made him involuntarily arch his back.

Arthur hummed and took Merlin into his mouth. “Gods...Ar...Arthur,” Merlin stuttered, as he fisted the sheets. “Mmm...feels..too good.” He pushed up onto his elbows and watched as Arthur bobbed over his cock. He wanted to burn the image into his memory forever. Arthur's face was flushed and his hair flipped up a bit on the sides with sweat. He was giving his full attention to Merlin's erection and Merlin grasped the silky, blonde hair between his fingers, pulling gently. “Arthur, I can't...I”

Arthur's mouth popped off his cock and he asked, voice raspy, “Do you want me to stop?”

Merlin's brain tried to make sense of the question. “Hmm, what? No. Definitely, no. Unless you want to-”

His words were cut off by Arthur licking up his length, as he stared at Merlin. As seductive as Arthur looked, Merlin felt a rush of love and emotion he couldn't contain. His eyes prickled with tears, and he thought, _“Finally._ ”

Arthur began sucking in earnest while swirling his tongue, pushing Merlin to the edge of conscious thought. “I'm close...” Merlin breathed, every nerve and magic receptor tingling with the bliss of this pleasure. Arthur never slowed his pace, even when Merlin cried out with release, body tightening, then going limp. He collapsed back on the bed.

Arthur slid up beside him, arms encircling his body. He bit gently at Merlin's neck. His hard cock pressed against Merlin's thigh. “Merlin, you make me crazy. I want you like I have never wanted another.”

His body was skillfully flipped over, so he was laying on top of Arthur's chest. “Can I..take you? Have you ever? I mean...if you are ready...or we can wait...” Arthur said hesitantly.

Merlin smiled and grinded down on Arthur's still clothed cock, teasing. “Yes, I've done this before. I don't want to wait. Gods, I want you. I want to feel you stretching and filling me,” he said leaning down to kiss Arthur's swollen, wet lips. His fingers trailed down to Arthur's smalls and traced the outline of Arthur's cock lightly at first, then harder, until he heard Arthur purr. His own cock was already filling again, and he wanted a chance to see Arthur laid bare for him.

“I always knew, you'd be the death of me,” Arthur said, pulling him into a hard kiss.

 

                                                                                              *************************

Watching Merlin trace his fingers over his naked length was doing things to him, inside. It was erotic and after tasting Merlin on his tongue he was more than ready to have a go, but, this feeling of “rightness” stirring in him went far beyond physical pleasure. It felt a lot like love, but, larger and more intense. He felt an overwhelming need to be inside Merlin. To meld with him. “Merlin, please,” Arthur whined and then Merlin's mouth was on his cock. It was hot, wet and Merlin. Oh, gods. How could they have waited so long for this? His fingers were entwined with Merlin's and he squeezed in time with the sucking rhythm. The luxury of Merlin's tongue was exquisite. “Mmm...wait,” he said, “Want to be inside you. Need to.”

He leaned up on his elbows and ran his free hand through the messy, dark locks. Then trailed his fingers over Merlin's lips, as Merlin stared back up at him, eyes dark. Merlin's tongue darted out to taste his fingertip and he resumed his licking there. Arthur moaned and slid two fingers into Merlin's mouth. Merlin sucked. He added a third.

He had never been so turned on. Each suckle from Merlin's mouth pulsed through his groin. When his fingers were slick and he could wait no longer, he pulled Merlin up on top of him, mouthing at his neck. He fondled Merlin's arse, until he found his entrance. “I am going to open you up to take me,” he panted into Merlin's ear, which elicited a breathy, “Arthur, yes.”

Tenderly, he pushed one finger into the tight space, feeling the muscles clench around it. With tiny movements, he twisted inside, opening Merlin up. He waited until Merlin began pushing back onto him, before adding a second finger. “So tight. Warm. I want you, Merlin. Want this,” he said as he pushed slowly in, then out.

“Yes, Arthur..nnnggg.. More.”

He added a third finger and Merlin backed onto his hand, rotating his hips. Arthur touched that spot that made Merlin gasp, “Yes.” Holding onto Arthur's forearms, Merlin pulled himself up and then pushed down onto Arthur's fingers. “Arthur...have to feel you.”

Pulling his fingers out gently, he knelt on the bed and laid his lover down. He needed Merlin right now. But Merlin turned around, eyeing Arthur's cock. He leaned forward and sucked it into his mouth and took the length down his throat until Arthur thought he would see stars. He closed his eyes and tilted toward him. “What...Merlin..”

The sucking ceased and Arthur opened his eyes. Merlin was angled across the bed on all fours, and he pushed back, rubbing his arse against Arthur's spit soaked cock.

Arthur growled and pulled Merlin to him, lining up with his entrance. He pushed slowly, but gods it took all his restraint not to thrust all the way in. “Merlin, Merlin,” he heard himself whispering as he rocked gently in. He felt Merlin's muscles relax, inviting him to thrust harder. “This ok?” he asked.

“Yes, Arthur. Gods, yes. Want more of you, all of you,” Merlin keened.

Arthur picked up the pace and intensity, until he was pounding Merlin into the bed. The crackle of what could only be Merlin's magic, was radiating between them. It was so thick, he thought he could see gold and red sparks. He held the headboard for leverage and so he could lay his upper body upon Merlin's. Closer, he needed to be even closer. Together, joined, destiny; as each stroke built toward culmination.

He wouldn't last much longer. The intensity was almost too much. He heard Merlin whispering unintelligible words and his name. Oh, the sound of his name spoken like that would be the end of him. He slowed and reached around to grasp Merlin's neglected cock. He pumped up and down as he drove into Merlin and it was heaven.

Beneath him, Merlin was breathing hard; his back was sheened with sweat. Arthur felt the cock in his hand swell and then heard Merlin cry out with the pulse of his completion.

“Don't care about Emrys... or some king I'm supposed to be. You. Are. Mine,” he gasped and finished with a deep thrust, shattering into pieces. This time he was sure he saw the magic swirling, until the gold and red meshed into one iridescent hue.

They collapsed onto the bed and rearranged themselves until they were facing each other. Merlin tucked a piece of unruly hair behind Arthur's ear and asked softly, “And... are you mine?”

Arthur could never want anyone else. Ever. Merlin completed him. He stared into those clear blue eyes looking at him expectantly. “Forever.”

Merlin smiled and laid his head on Arthur's shoulder.

Arthur reveled in the love and rightness of two sides of a coin becoming one and drifted off into bliss.

                                                                                   ***************************

Merlin woke feeling stuffy and cramped. His right arm was asleep and seemed pinned under a sleeping pile of Arthur.

He tilted his head and gazed at his friend? King? Lover? All this time, he had wanted this man. Dreamed of him. Wondered what it would be like. None of that had even came close to the real thing. He almost couldn't believe this had happened, was happening.

Arrogant, argumentative, and annoyingly, Arthur. Never in his life had he experienced what they had shared last night. It was if a part of himself had been pulled out and replaced with something new, warm and theirs.

He knew his and Arthur's latent magic had woven together into something, legendary. Was this what was foretold? The two of them united in every way to bring about Albion? They would see.

Arthur stirred and glanced over at him, smiling softly. “Morning.”

“Hi.”

Arthur tugged Merlin closer, his back to Arthur's chest. Merlin delighted in his heat, his smell. He would never get enough of Arthur. Of that, he felt sure.

“Can we make all of this work?” Arthur asked, stoking Merlin's shoulder. “The magic and Morgana, I mean,” he clarified.

Merlin rolled over to face him, lips quirked up into a smile. “It will take some work. Some trust. And some time. But, I think, together there is nothing we can't manage.”

As he and Arthur prepared to ride back to Camelot, there was something more he wanted to do and it involved all three of them.

“Morgana, will you ride out with us, just a few minutes from the castle? I have something to show both of you,” he said. Arthur looked at him curiously and Morgana agreed.

They stopped at a small clearing and dismounted. “What is this about, Merlin?” Arthur asked, glancing around.

“As I told you, there is a prophecy about... your death at a druid's hand,” Merlin said. “I am hoping we have, or will change destiny and alter those events.” He looked into Arthur's blue eyes, trying to push down his feelings of desperation over this. “There is someone who may have insight. If you will allow me, I will call him.”

At Arthur and Morgana's nod, he called The Great Dragon.

The dragon landed gracefully in the clearing in front of the king, the warlock and the witch.

Arthur's hand went to the hilt of his sword and Morgana's eyes were wide, as she stepped back a few steps.

Kilgarrah lowered his head toward Merlin and said, “Now, this looks different, Warlock.”

Merlin snorted. “Yes. We have come to an... understanding.” He nodded to the two beside him.

“The Once and Future King and the Witch. This is an interesting turn.” Kilgarrah gazed at each in turn and then looked back to Merlin. “I see you have united with the king.”

Merlin blushed and looked over at Arthur. Could the dragon see some proof of their union? He cleared his throat and said, “We are working together to unite Albion and bring magic back to the land.” It was hard to believe where they had been just a few short days ago. After speaking the truth and trusting each other, they were combining their efforts to create a kingdom of peace. And if he shared Arthur's bed, well that was a perk he was most pleased with. “Princess Morgana will be helping us, as well,” he added.

The dragon's head snapped back in surprise. “The Princess Morgana? So, she has been acknowledged as a Pendragon. Is this wise, Warlock?” He fixed his shimmering gold eyes on Morgana, sizing her up. She stood her ground, chin raised.

Arthur stepped forward. “Yes... I know now that we are all working toward the same goal. Slowly, we will repair what was broken between us, so we will have peace at last.”

Merlin beamed at Arthur's response to the cryptic dragon. But then remembered what he was here for.  
“There is something else,” he said. “Mordred.”

“The druid boy?”

“You said he would align with Morgana and be Arthur's...end. Do you still see that? Have we changed anything?” He tried to keep the distress out of his voice. Though they had made huge strides between them, he couldn't help worrying about Arthur's fall he had seen in the vision.

The dragon stared at him intently, then looked at Arthur. He seemed to be thinking- or whatever he did to tap into his magical prophecies. “The future is unclear. Changed, yes, but I cannot see how, yet. I do see an alignment with the druid and the- Morgana. As for the length of Arthur's reign, we shall see. We shall see.” He ascended, beating his enormous wings and leaving them alone in the clearing.

“Not always the most helpful,” Merlin shrugged, turning to his companions.

“Well, he did say we changed something.” Morgana replied, smiling softly. “Maybe, it will take some time. We have a long way to go.”

“Yes. Right,” Arthur agreed, matter-of-factly. “Morgana, we will see you in a fortnight.” He smiled at her and even leaned in for an awkward embrace. When he pulled back his face was tinged with a blush.

Merlin also hugged her goodbye, something he never thought would happen again. He and Arthur mounted their horses and rode off for Camelot and their destiny.

                                                                                    *************************************

_Epilogue:_

 

“Merlin, are you ever on time for anything?” Arthur complained, straightening his robes. The celebration could not begin without the king, but even if he had been a commoner, as Morgana's brother his presence was paramount.

Merlin smirked and leaned in to deliver a chaste kiss. “I know this is important to you; everyone in Camelot is excited. Morgana is making sure everything is running smooth and Gwen- she has all but taken over the festivity planning. I heard she asked cook not to skimp on any detail. The best meats, cheeses and an enormous cake- I can't wait for that.”

“For all you eat, you should be the size of Lord Galfrey,” Arthur said. He had to admit, he had been shocked at first when he discovered the nature of Morgana and Mordred's “alignment”, but, they were amazing together. Mordred tempered her in a way he had never seen. Arthur's fondness for his youngest knight had always been known and now he would become family.

Merlin was right. Camelot had accepted their princess, although it had taken time. With this union and promise of a child, the Pendragon line could continue and no one would fuss at him anymore, about naming an heir.

As for himself, his heart had been lost long ago to an unbelievably, insubordinate idiot. He quite liked it that way.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed my first posted work. Feel free to post a comment or leave some love.  
> I'll read every one :)


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